Relationship
19 secrets and confessions about marriage that married people would never say out loud
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We recently asked married people in the BuzzFeed Community to share secrets about marriage they’d never say out loud. Here’s what they had to say:
1. “Taking intentional time apart. My husband makes himself scarce one night a week so I have time to myself to do whatever I want. He always goes away for a big ski trip with his friends. I think it’s important to have time apart and miss each other but also get away from each other. We plan to spend the rest of our lives together, and to do that we can’t always be together.”
—Krystal, Oregon
2. “You don’t have to change your last name.”
—daisyswierc
3. “Never quit dating each other. Very ill from cancer, he insisted on having dinner out for our 40th anniversary. It turned out to be the last time. Be thoughtful with little surprises. Be courteous, even in the tough times. It’s you and him against the world; not against each other. Be vulnerable. Let your significant other see your tears and tender heart. Keep your confidential conversations between the two of you. Most of all, if true love leads the way, everything else falls into place.”
—bluejester57
4. “It’s not the big things that drain you the most. It’s figuring out dinner every damn night.”
—BJ, California
5. “Love comes in waves and that’s how it goes during the long haul. Sometimes you have to brace yourself and ride out the low points. It takes a real commitment, but the highs outweigh the lows if you keep working at it. Still in love after 43 years!”
—silvercat673
6. “Marry your best friend!”
—Ray
7. “You’re not going to like your partner from time to time. You might not even think you love them, and this can last months. The drudgery of life, children, work, and stress can destroy your emotions, cause arguments, and make you forget why you’re even with this person in the first place. It happens, and it doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Be honest with yourself and your spouse, give each other some grace, and go to couples counseling if you need to.”
—anewfan2018
8. “Marriage is like climbing a mountain. When one of you starts to slip, the other grabs their hand and pulls them back up! Always be there for each other.”
—Anonymous, Omaha, Nebraska
9. “Remember that your partner is human and allowed to make (reasonable) mistakes. As their partner, they’re looking to you for support and love. No matter how pissed off you are, show grace. Who knows, one day you may make a mistake and need their support.”
—Anonymous, Arizona
10. “I’d say this out loud but it takes effort! You have to try every day to show that person you love them, speak their love language, communicate, be thoughtful and considerate, and be honest. If you go on auto-pilot, you’re going to have problems.”
—Leah, Colorado
11. “My husband doesn’t know…I can’t stand my in-laws. Why tell him? They are his parents and he loves and respects them deeply. I also want my children to have a close relationship with their grandparents. So, I treat them how I’d want my future son or daughter-in-law to treat me — welcoming, supportive, and loving. It’s a good one for my husband to never, ever know.”
—Anonymous, California
12. “Marriage is hard work. After being together for 30 years, with four kids and two grandkids, you need to relearn how to be yourself, no longer as a parent or grandparent. Learn new things keep yourself ‘alive,’ and learn how to thrive independently. You won’t always be a couple so learn how to be solo. Who knows, it might make you attractive and alluring to your partner again.”
—MomSedSo, Illinois
13. “Pick your battles. Don’t sweat the small things. Compromise on everything but don’t compromise your self-worth.”
—Tim, British Columbia, Canada
14. “You can do all the work on yourself and heal yourself alone. You can feel the best you’ve ever felt and then meet that one person and be on top of the world. Always make sure it’s someone willing to be there through the hard times. Someone willing to work on themselves, with you as a couple, and who also allows you to grow and change. The secret they don’t tell you is that there are only some things you can heal in a relationship. You’ll find this out when your chosen partner finds and pokes the most painful parts that still need to be healed. If you’ve chosen well, they will support and help you as you move through the final phase of your healing journey.”
—Anonymous, Kentucky
15. “If there’s a large age gap, make sure you can both relate to each others’ friends. My husband is 17 years older than I am. I didn’t realize how awkward it could be to mingle among folks his age or older, and him to mingle among my friends my age or younger. We might have a 25 to 30-year age gap between our friends and yes, we’re adults, but generationally there are times that we don’t all get each other. As a result, our friend circles have shrunk. And if you think making friends as an adult is hard, try finding a couple with a similar age gap.”
—Rachel O., California
16. “When you are married long enough and maintain an open, honest dialogue with your partner, you can discover some things in the bedroom that you never thought you would enjoy. Over the years, my wife and I have gotten wilder and wilder with the things we would like to try in bed. It’s the kind of stuff you would never tell a girlfriend or boyfriend of no significant time, the kind of things that you are afraid to be judged over. So, the sex does not always die in marriage. Stay honest and open with each other, and it can get incredible to a level you never expected.”
—Antonio, Florida
17. “Respect is possibly more important than love. But, you can’t learn or fake respect, so if you don’t have it for each other, just don’t get married. Fighting (defined as saying something to hurt the other person) is stupid. Disagree like mature adults and talk it out. If you think someone has to ‘win’ you aren’t ready for marriage. You don’t have to share everything just because you are married. It’s OK to have separate blankets, toothpastes, etc.”
—Luke, Texas
18. “Wait! Wait until you’re at least 30. I say that because you’ll be established. Not just financially, but also spiritually, mentally, and politically. You change so much in your 20s that you don’t become who you are until 30. I love my husband. We’ve been together since high school. We got married when we were 23 and 24. Who we were then is not who we are now. It can be so, so hard and very conflicting at times. If I had this advice, I honestly would’ve waited.”
—Mrs. T, Maryland
19. “There might be times you aren’t ‘in love’ with your spouse, and that’s OK. Remember why you chose to be together, keep making that choice, and it comes back better and stronger.”
—Anonymous
Relationship
13 Signs A Woman Wants To Have Sex With You
Women are complicated beings in the world and difficult to understand at times. They may seem to be nice to you at one point and make you think they are into you, but yet turn out to be something different altogether.
Some can even let you have the feeling that they want to have something intimate with you, and that is where a lot of men get it wrong and destroy their relationship with the very girl.
Let’s look at it metaphorically. What she wants isn’t necessarily your penis. For sure, it’s a bonus, but she wants your masculine energy, which is what is drawing her attention.
You have to figure out if your masculine energy is something she’s interested in getting to know on an intimate level. If you’re not sure and you make a wrong move, you could easily end up embarrassing yourself.
Below are 13 signs a woman may wants to sleep with you:
1. She Hints That She Lives Alone:
Women are careful about their safety and privacy, especially with men they barely know. So, if she casually mentions that she lives alone, this is rarely random.
She’s dropping a breadcrumb. She’s subtly showing comfort with the idea of you being in her personal space.
2. She Invites You to Her Place:
The “come over” invite is a bold move that signals trust and attraction. But women rarely spell it out as, “Come over so we can hook up.” Instead, it’ll be disguised as something innocent
Women create plausible deniability. This allows her to test your interest without feeling judged. Play it cool and confident. If she invites you, it’s already on her mind.
3. She Brings Up Sexual Topics:
When a woman wants you, she’ll test the waters by steering the conversation into more intimate territory.
She might ask playful, sexual questions or make subtle innuendos. This is her way of gauging your vibe and comfort with sexual topics.
4. Her Body Language Says “I Want You”:
Women communicate more with their bodies than their words. When she’s interested, her body language will change in these ways: She gets closer to you physically. She touches her hair, neck, or lips while talking to you.
She bites or licks her lips, especially while maintaining eye contact. She adjusts her posture to emphasize her curves (arching her back, leaning forward).
5. Her Texts Turn Flirtatious:
Texting is where women reveal their interest indirectly. If her messages start to include: Emojis with suggestive undertones (winks, lips, or peaches).
Compliments about your looks or masculinity. Questions about your plans late at night.
6. She Finds Excuses to Touch You
Touch is one of the most obvious signs a woman wants you. Women don’t touch men they aren’t interested in—period.
If she’s touching you, it’s deliberate: Brushing against your arm. Placing her hand on your leg during conversation
Hugging you longer than necessary. “Accidentally” bumping into you multiple times. One of the boldest moves is if she touches your chest or abs. This is her testing your reaction and subtly escalating physical intimacy. Touch isn’t accidental, it’s intentional escalation.
7. She Opens Up About Personal Details:
When a woman shares intimate or vulnerable details about her life, she’s building emotional connection. This is a precursor to physical intimacy. Because women need to feel emotionally comfortable before going further.
Talking about her childhood, family, or past relationships. Opening up about her fears, goals, or dreams. Sharing personal stories she wouldn’t tell just anyone. If she’s letting you into her emotional world, she’s signaling trust. And trust is step one to getting her in bed.
8. She Laughs at Everything You Say
Here’s the secret: Women laugh when they’re attracted, and they laugh even harder when they’re turned on. You don’t need to be hilarious. She’s laughing because she likes you. Signs: She laughs at jokes no one else finds funny.
She giggles after everything you say, even if it’s not a joke. She tells you, “Stop making me laugh!” while clearly enjoying it.
Laughter is how women show approval and create a connection. If she’s smiling and laughing around you constantly, it’s a green light.
9. She’s sitting very close to you
One of the easiest signs a woman wants to sleep with you will be her physical proximity to you. It signifies a certain emotional proximity as well. And if you feel that despite there being a lot of room beside you and across you, she still choose to sit right next to you with pretty much no breathing space in between, she’s definitely into you. And if you play your cards right, she might even take you home tonight!
10. You get complimented often
Now this could be because of one or two things:
She’s really into you and pays more attention to you than she normally would. And this makes your efforts on grooming yourself stand out for her
She wants to flatter you so that you can warm up to her and become at ease when the subject of sex comes up.
Her compliments can also be sexual, like, “nice ass” or “nice abs”.
11. She licks or bites her lips
It could be consciously or subconsciously, but either way this gesture means she’s sexually attracted to you. In fact, it’s one of the clearest signs a woman wants to sleep with you.
12. She shares her food with you
And even takes bites out of your plate. Some might go to the extent of eating food from the same spoon or fork as yours. And this is nothing but a very direct indication of the fact that she’s interested in having sex with you. I mean, come on! Why else would she eat from your plate, a gesture that’s reserved for family, friends or partners?
13. She gives sexual innuendos
Look, women don’t often discuss sex openly with guys they’ve just met. So a way around is to use double meaning words or jokes, coupled with suggestive glance and touches, through which women try to put their point across.
Relationship
Don’t argue with your wife if you want your marriage to last – Mahama advices married men
President John Mahama has advised married men to avoid arguing with their wives if they want their marriages to last.
Sharing his experience during a courtesy call by a delegation from the Western Regional House of Chiefs, led by its President, Nana Kwabena Nketia V which also coincided with President Mahama’s 33rd wedding anniversary, he said “I’ll tell you a very funny story,” he said.
“When we achieved 30 years of marriage, it was a big celebration. We were sitting in our pastor’s office after church and talking about the celebration that was coming so my wife started saying ‘Pastor, don’t you see? This marriage has survived because of me. Otherwise, this man, who would want to marry him?’”
“I made the mistake of arguing and saying, ‘Oh, it’s because of me? I am the calm one, I am the patient one that is why the marriage has reached 30 years and arguing my pastor was looking at me in a funny way and he pulled me aside and said why were you wasting your time? You know you can never win that argument.”
“So in the following year, we were celebrating our 31st anniversary and we were sitting at the same place and people were congratulating us. And my wife brought up the same subject that this marriage has survived because of me and I remembered what my pastor had said, so I just said, ‘Yes, it has lasted because of you. I thank God for your life. I couldn’t have got a better wife than you.’”
“She looked at me and said, are you correct? Did you wake up well? “So never argue with your wife.”
Relationship
VIDEO; Are Islamic marriages legal? Watch details on Your family Lawyer (Here)
Again, seasoned lawyer Barrister Chinye Chuma digs out legal intricacies of Islamic marriages in yesterday, Saturday episode of ‘Your Family Lawyer ‘.
Watch video below:
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