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RELATIONSHIP: HOUSEWIFE Whose Husband Asks Friend To Join Them During S€x, Is Confused About The Paternity Of Her Child

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“Hello Omajuwa. I am a 38-year-old full-time housewife who got married traditionally about 5 years ago.
My husband is a 49-year-old who had told me he got divorced 7years ago and had two children from the previous marriage.

The ex-wife and children stay in Canada. He is an architect who travels from time to time.

We have been looking up to God for a child since we got married and my husband has been quite understanding. He does not stress me about our childlessness.

My mother-in-law rarely picks my calls and does not trouble me about a child too. My best friend keeps advising me to do my best to give my husband a child so as to secure my place in his family.

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Few months ago, my husband’s friend started living with us. It started out as him coming to stay the weekend but he has refused to leave.

Whenever I bring it up, my husband simply say that the friend is trying to get on his feet and he is helping him out because the friend was there for him in the past as well.

One afternoon, the friend walked in on my husband and I having sex and instead of getting furious, my husband asked that he joined us. I felt embarrassed that day but got used to it overtime.

My husband had said it’s just sex so the friend joins us occasionally. My husband travels a lot for work and sometimes when I feel too lonely, I simply go to his friend’s room to sort myself.

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However, few days ago, I found out I am pregnant. My husband has been on a business trip for over a month now and I do not know how to tell him.

Hope he won’t question the paternity of this child? How do I know whose child I am carrying? Would it matter to him? Do I just get rid of the pregnancy?

I finally have what I have been longing for all these years but hope it will not ruin my home? Please help me.

Copyright: Family Matters with Omajuwa on Splash105.5FM

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Men facing financial difficulty risk premature ejaculation, say urologists

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Urologists have identified financial difficulty as one of the factors that could predispose men to risk of having premature ejaculation during sex.

Premature ejaculation occurs when a man has an orgasm and ejaculates earlier during intercourse than he or his partner would like.

Experts say premature ejaculation is a common problem that affects 30 percent to 40 percent of men.

According to the specialists, the stress and anxiety triggered by financial struggles could significantly impact sexual performance.

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Speaking with PUNCH Healthwise, the physicians explained that financial stress could lead to anxiety, depression, and poor lifestyle habits, all of which have been linked to premature ejaculation.

According to a health website, Mayo Clinic, premature ejaculation occurs in men when semen leaves the body (ejaculates) sooner than wanted during sex.

While identifying early sexual experiences, sexual abuse, depression, and guilty feelings as some of the causes of premature ejaculation, the clinic added that erectile dysfunction, anxiety, and relationship problems are also some other factors responsible.

Speaking further on how financial struggles which many Nigerians are going through could affect their sexual performance; the urologists said this could worsen existing health conditions, making individuals more susceptible to premature ejaculation.

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According to them, when men are under financial pressure, they often neglect their physical and mental health. This neglect, they noted, could manifest in various ways, including sexual dysfunction.

An urologist at the Federal Medical Centre, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Dr. Olaitan Adeyemi stated that economic hardship might lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive alcohol consumption or smoking.

These poor lifestyle habits, he stressed, might worsen other existing factors that could lead to premature ejaculation.

According to Adeyemi, premature ejaculation is a complex condition requiring a multifaceted approach.

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He explained that medical factors, such as neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, and prostate issues, could contribute to premature ejaculation.

He, however, noted that social factors, including stress, anxiety, and relationship dynamics, also play a significant role.

He stated that economic hardship could worsen premature ejaculation symptoms, adding that increased stress and anxiety affect men’s sexual performance.

“Financial struggles can lead to increased stress levels, which can negatively impact sexual performance. Economic instability can have far-reaching consequences on mental and physical well-being,” the specialist noted.

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While stressing that economic hardship could affect men of all ages and backgrounds, the physician said premature ejaculation was not exclusive to any particular demographic.

He, however, noted that men in lower socioeconomic brackets may be more vulnerable due to limited access to healthcare and increased stress levels.

Adeyemi said family history, early sexual experiences, and traumatic events could predispose individuals to premature ejaculation.

He added that mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, also increase the risk.

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When asked if men with premature ejaculation could father a child, the physician explained that premature ejaculation had the potential to reduce the chances of successful conception and increase stress and anxiety, which might lead to erectile dysfunction.

He further said, “Premature ejaculation can have a profound impact on fertility, particularly by reducing the chances of successful conception. Moreover, the stress and anxiety that often accompany PE can potentially lead to erectile dysfunction, further complicating fertility issues.”

“However, you need to take note that premature ejaculation does not directly cause impotence. While impotence, also known as erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation can coexist, they are distinct conditions that require separate attention and treatment.

“Understanding the interplay between premature ejaculation, fertility, and erectile dysfunction is important for men struggling with these issues. By addressing the underlying causes and seeking proper treatment, individuals can mitigate the effects of premature ejaculation on fertility and improve their overall sexual health.”

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The urologist urged men experiencing premature ejaculation symptoms to seek medical attention, stressing that early treatment could improve quality of life.

He added, “Recognisable symptoms that necessitate medical attention include persistent or recurrent premature ejaculation, difficulty controlling ejaculation, painful ejaculation, and blood in semen or urine.”

On his part, a Consultant Urologist, Dr. Taiwo Alabi, said healthy living and avoidance of smoking could help to improve a man’s sexual performance or libido.

He noted that the stop-start technique, which requires a man to stop sexual stimulation and return to it again after the sensation had passed, could likewise help to delay ejaculation.

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Alabi said premature ejaculation happens when a man had an orgasm and releases semen within one minute of penetration, and is unable to control ejaculation during sexual intercourse.

He said, “Premature ejaculation is hinged on three components. First, the time that is considered as a cut-off is one minute. Anybody who ejaculates less than a minute from the time of ‘Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time’ has premature ejaculation.

“IELT means the time a man has an erection and penetrates the vagina of the woman to the time he releases. What is generally considered acceptable IELT ranges from about three to seven minutes, and what is considered a cut-off is one minute.”

The urologist continued, “The second component is its psychological impact. Premature ejaculation has a negative psychological effect on either the man, the partner or both of them, and the kind of effect it has on them might range from depression to withdrawal from sex and to loss of self-confidence. For some people, it can be that they are anxious each time they want to have intercourse.

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“The third component is loss of control. Normal ejaculation is described in terms of control. When a man is having intercourse and is thrusting back and forth, there’s a time he will have intense pleasure, and he should be able to control his ejaculation. So, those three things are the components of premature ejaculation.”

“However, to improve your sexual performance, the first thing is to live healthily. If you live healthily, eat fruits, and vegetables and reduce your weight, you will be able to avert the risk factors,” Alabi advised.

Credit: PUNCH

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Ends Marriage Weeks After Ceremony over Genotype incompatibilities

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A newlywed man has called off his marriage just weeks after their traditional wedding ceremony, citing genotype incompatibilities as the reason. The announcement was made by the groom on TikTok, where he shared a photo from their wedding day alongside a heartfelt message.

The couple tied the knot on May 5, 2024, but the union came to an end in July 2024. In his post, he expressed deep affection for his wife while emphasizing the importance of their decision for long-term wellbeing.

“God knows how much I love you, but in order to save ourselves from suffering for eternity, we have to part ways,” he wrote. He also offered his prayers for her future, assuring her that she would always have a special place in his heart.

This revelation has sparked discussions about the role of genetic compatibility in relationships, highlighting a crucial aspect that many may overlook during courtship.

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SEE three nations that pay unmarried to get hooked

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In some countries, governments are stepping in to combat low birth rates and population decline by offering financial incentives for marriage and starting families.

From cash bonuses to housing grants, these initiatives are designed to encourage couples to tie the knot and settle down. Here are three countries—Singapore, Italy, and Japan—that will pay you to stop being single and start a family.

Singapore

Singapore encourages family growth by offering financial incentives through its “Marriage and Parenthood Package.” This includes a cash gift, known as the “Baby Bonus,” which is given to help couples with the costs of raising children. The bonus is paid in stages, starting with the birth of the first child. Additional benefits, like housing grants, are also provided to support marriage and family development.

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Italy

In Italy, declining birth rates in rural areas have prompted some local governments to offer financial grants to couples who marry and settle in small towns. These incentives aim to revive communities by attracting young couples who can contribute to the local economy. The funds can be used for housing or business ventures, making it an appealing option for couples starting a new life.

Japan

Japan, facing a rapidly ageing population and declining birth rate, offers financial incentives in certain areas to encourage marriage and childbirth. Some municipalities provide newlyweds with lump sum payments or subsidies to cover wedding costs and support their new life. These measures are part of broader efforts to promote marriage and sustain the country’s population.

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Source: Businesselitesafrica

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