A bloke has avoided jail despite stabbing his friend a whopping 11 times after having his manhood mocked.
The strange incident happened in a sauna in Germany.
The unnamed 29-year-old took his anger out on his friend, who is eight years older than him, on April 3, 2022.
A court in Paderborn, Germany, was told last week that the duo – and the knifeman's 39-year-old brother-in-law – met at the victim's house, drank alcohol and decided it would be a sensible idea to go to a sauna at 5am.
The sauna actually belonged to the victim.
A spokesman for the court told Germany's biggest newspaper BILD am Sonntag: “All involved were already significantly drunk.
“One of the men supposedly poured beer over the sauna stones.”
The pouring of beer – which created a bubbling steamy alcohol vapour, filling the sauna – caused a fight, which escalated into the trio “having a heated fight about the length of their penises”… as you do.
It was not divulged who won the argument, but one man separated the pair, and left with the brother-in-law two hours later.
However, the angry 29-year-old returned and the argument continued, but developed into a much more serious incident as a knife was produced which he used to stab the victim 11 times.
He was taken to hospital where he was treated with emergency surgery to his lungs and left arm.
Two hours after the incident, the 29-year-old was arrested and was found to have a blood alcohol level of 2.9 – which was described as being “close to criminal incapacity”.
He was charged with and pleaded guilty to dangerous bodily harm, and given a suspended two-year sentence.
He also had to pay around £9,500 to his victim.
All of the men involved remained anonymous through the court hearing.