Opinion
IRUKERA: HOW NOT TO REWARD ALTRUISM

*By Tunde Olusunle*
Monday January 8, 2024, Nigerians woke up to the news of the suspension of Betta Edu, who was formerly the Minister for Humanitarian Affairs and Poverty Alleviation. On the same day, Babatunde Ayokunle Irukera who was for six years Executive Vice Chairman of the Federal Competition and Consumer Protection Commission, (FCCPC), was relieved of his appointment. Both developments compelled an essay which I titled “On Betta Edu and Tunde Irukera.” The article was generously ventilated by the media even as I attempted to draw comparisons between two public offices with different pedigrees and also different “misdemeanours.” Evidence in the public domain attested to blatant disregard for public service rules and mammoth thievery by one of the two people I wrote about. The other public servant was uncharacteristically innovative, transparent and altruistic in his approach to work. He literally excavated a government agency in the throes of asphyxiation and obliteration, to a world class organisation, to local and international aplomb.
Much unlike me, I had, just weeks before, written about Irukera following the recognition of the agency he superintended over as “Government Agency of the Year.” This was evidence to how very closely I followed the good works of Irukera. The honour in question came from *Leadership* newspapers one of Nigeria’s most reputable tabloids. FCCPC was selected for the acclamation for “promoting fairness, regulatory stability and consumer protection within the marketplace.” My piece alluded to the uncommon-ness of Irukera’s attitude to public service which is construed by many office holders as licence for the wholesale looting and holistic decimation of departments assigned to them. Haven’t we just been told that nine officers in the Nigerian Customs Services, (NCS) were recently fingered in a N12 Billion scam?
In pronouncing the FCCPC under Irukera as an authentic public service exemplar, *Leadership* noted that since his appointment in 2017, the organisation had pursued “a transformative journey reshaping and rebranding the erstwhile Consumer Protection Council, (CPC).” Further, the newspaper noted that the organisation had been refocused as a “proactive and consumer-centric FCCPC.” Irukera’s oversight of the commission’s transformation and operationalisation beginning from January 30, 2019, *Leadership* noted had been a game-changer. Further still, the awarding newspaper said: “Following the enactment of the FCCPC Act, Irukera has demonstrated “unwavering dedication to fostering a dynamic and responsive regulatory environment.” The FCCPC under Irukera it was observed “has recorded numerous milestones across diverse sectors including healthcare, digital finance and electricity.”
According to *Leadership,* “one of the standout accomplishments of Irukera’s FCCPC is the strategic development and implementation of the Patient’s Bill of Rights.” That initiative establishes a comprehensive framework empowering patients with essential rights such as informed consent, confidentiality and unrestricted access to their medical records.” The Patient Bill of Rights, *Leadership* observed, “serves as a charter of principles delineating the rights and responsibilities of patients, healthcare providers and the regulatory body.” This is “an approach which fosters a culture of transparency, accountability and patient-centric care.”
Irukera’s leadership at the FCCPC witnessed other strategic initiatives and impactful interventions in other sectors, notably in digital finance, the power sector and in the nation’s bureaucracy. FCCPC was also catalytic in shaping Nigeria’s business environment which became more cognisant of the emplacement of fairness, consumer protection and regulatory stability. Local and foreign investors have continued to experience the transformative impact of standardised practices instituted by the FCCPC. This congruence between national and international standards, in combination with rigorous process auditing and the development of guidelines and standard operating procedures, serves as an imprimatur of quality assurance in the Nigerian marketplace. These are identified perspectives about Irukera’s exertions in public service as dispassionately enunciated by one of Nigeria’s more serious newspapers.
Confident of his transparent governance approach, Irukera was never shy of media engagement. On the eve of the last yuletide therefore, Irukera hosted the media where he noted that the FCCPC under him, had become a wholly self-sustaining department. According to him, the FCCPC made history in 2023 by generating N56 Billion. The feat was achieved by the simple enforcement of compliance to existing laws vis-a-vis the payment of penalties by defaulting companies. This was a novelty by any standards in a milieu where many government funded establishments overdraw their allocations, expend their internally generated revenues, (IGR) and still prospect for supplementation. Irukera noted at that media interface that the organisation hired new staff in strict adherence to service procedures. This assisted the federal government in taking off young, qualified, unemployed people from the streets.
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Perhaps if every ministry, department or agency under the thoroughly dysfunctional Muhammadu Buhari regime had transparently recruited qualified youths across board, the national despondency levels will be mitigated albeit marginally. Much of what we picked up in the media space was hush-hush recruitments into “A-grade” MDAs like the Central Bank of Nigeria, (CBN), the Federal Inland Revenue Service, (FIRS) and so on. After addressing staff emoluments, overhead costs and capital requirements, the FCCPC, Irukera noted gifted the federal government N22 Billion by way of remittances! This was a most un-envisaged precedence by a government agency which was picked up from the backwoods and transformed into a national model, even bride.
On Wednesday February 28, 2024, the Senate of the Federal Republic under the leadership of Godswill Akpabio, rubber-stamped the request of President Tinubu to sack Irukera. He was deemed inefficient! For those who have followed the quiet yet impactful revolution which Tunde Irukera has pursued in the past six years, nothing can be more preposterous. There wouldn’t be a joke more cruel, more malevolent, more unfeeling than such a testimonial to a man who has invested so much in service to nation at testy times such as we have been in the past decade. Irukera demonstrated that government concerns can be effectively and productively run. What do we make of an organisation like the National Board for Arabic and Islamic Studies, (NBAIS), which was in September 2022 reprimanded by the legislature for unjustified spending? The Senate Committee on Finance and Appropriation queried NBAIS for spending N8.5 Billion annually, on 6000 employees to administer examinations to 500 students. No heads have rolled ever since in the Professor Muhammad Abdullahi-led organisation.
The spiteful removal of Babatunde Ayokunle Irukera from office the way it has been done is gross injustice and colossal disservice to patriotism and sacrifice. There have been unfounded suggestions to the effect that Irukera was blackmailed as one of those who “substantially” supported former Vice President, Yemi Osinbajo’s bid to contest the presidential primary of the All Progressives Congress, (APC) in 2022. This is most farfetched for a technocrat like Irukera whose gaze is almost permanently fixed to his desk treating official correspondences, receiving briefs, holding meetings. In other climes, Irukera should by now have in the bag recognitions like the “National Productivity Order of Merit,” (NPOM) as well as a minimum investiture with a national honour in the category of “Officer of the Order of the Niger,” (OON). He chose, however, not to hunt for titular aggrandisement preferring to immerse himself wholly and completely in service to fatherland.
Irukera’s mistreatment echoes the manner Damilola Ogunbiyi who was Managing Director of the Rural Electrification Agency under the Buhari government, was unjustly treated in 2019. She has since moved on to the global heights of the “Special Representative of the United Nations Secretary General for Sustainable Energy for All.” She is also Co-Chair of UN Energy. Irukera always had a flourishing law practice in the United States before heeding the call to avail his country of his multiplex competencies and experiences. He is not a jobber like many whose only CV is “being abroad.” For as long as he remained in his job in Nigeria, he ran his family by telephone, virtually. The manner he has been treated will be a major disincentive to Nigerians out there who would otherwise be glad to come contribute their quotas to national development. In Irukera, Nigeria has a brand ambassador who should be engaged to hoist the nation’s banner across the world. He deserves to be genuinely apologised to, pacified and given his flowers.
*Tunde Olusunle, PhD, poet, journalist, scholar and author is a Fellow of the Association of Nigerian Authors, (ANA)
Opinion
Tik Tok crisis may linger longer

By Sonny Aragba-Akpore.
While the American ban of Tik Tok is on hold for 75 days beginning from January 20,2025,the European Commission is currently scrutinizing Tik Tok,s practices regarding data protection,advertising transparency and potential addictive design features,particularly concerning young users.
African countries have high usage in general in some countries with Kenya being at the forefront.But some have frowned at its usage.
The restrictions in Europe on the app, are particularly on government employee devices due to security concerns, while in Africa, some nations have completely banned TikTok due to worries about inappropriate content and potential political misuse, with Kenya being a notable exception where usage is high.
Some African governments have banned TikTok due to concerns about the spread of inappropriate content, political rhetoric, and others.
Despite concerns, many African creators use TikTok to showcase their culture and creativity.
The ban in the USA could affect American companies like Apple, Google, and Oracle.
The ban could chill certain types of investment and create a slippery slope that applies to other companies.
A TikTok ban in the United States could have several implications, including:
App store removal where TikTok would be removed from app stores like Apple and Google.
Updates would no longer be available as users are unable to update the app, which could lead to performance issues and compatibility problems.
The app could eventually become unusable without updates.
Data security stands risks of inability to associate with a TikTok ban.
There will be Geopolitical consequences as the ban could raise concerns about the government targeting individual companies.
The ban could send a message that the U.S. government is afraid of the Chinese government influencing Americans.
The ban could make online experiences more insular and inconsistent from country to country.
As the future of the social media platform remains murky, plans for an American entity to purchase TikTok appear to be narrowing in scope.
While several individuals and companies have thrown their hats into the ring with interest, President Donald Trump recently expressed his support of two tech giants: Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, and Larry Ellison, co-founder of Oracle. Oracle, a software company, houses most of TikTok’s U.S. servers.
Plans are already on to meet the 75-day window to stabilize Tik Tok.
General Atlantic CEO Bill Ford said last week that a deal would get done to save TikTok in the U.S. after President Donald Trump signed an executive order that halted a ban on the app for 75 days.
“It’s in everybody’s interest,” Ford told journalists at an event in Davos, Switzerland. Ford is on the board of directors for ByteDance, Tiktok’s Chinese parent company.
“We’ll get on with it, as soon as maybe the end of the week in terms of negotiating what might work … The Chinese government, the U.S. government and the company and the board all have to be involved in this conversation,” Ford added.
Trump’s executive order paused the enforcement of a bipartisan law passed by Congress last year that required ByteDance to sell TikTok’s U.S. assets by Sunday for the app to continue functioning in the country. It was passed amid national security concerns that the Chinese government could get access to Americans’ personal information through the app.
Tik Tok was taken down for 24 hours after the Supreme Court ruling for its ban before President Trump,s Executive Order for a 75-day stay of enforcement.
But the service interruption TikTok instituted hours earlier caught most users by surprise. Experts had said the law as written did not require TikTok to take down its platform, only for app stores to remove it.
Current users were expected to continue to have access to videos until the app stopped working due to a lack of updates.
The company’s app also was removed from prominent app stores, including the ones operated by Apple and Google. Apple told customers with its devices that it also took down other apps developed by TikTok’s China-based parent company, ByteDance including one that some social media influencers had promoted as an alternative.
Under the federal legislation, which remains in place despite Trump’s order, companies could be fined $5,000 per users they help access TikTok. For Google and Apple, this could mean a $5,000 fine for each user who downloads or updates TikTok. For internet hosting services like Oracle, it could mean a $5,000 fine for each user that accesses TikTok using their services.
To break that down, if reportedly 170 million Americans use TikTok and companies could be charged $5,000 per user, that amounts to about $850 billion in fines, spread across different types of tech companies.
Even for tech giants like Google, Apple and Oracle, these are “hefty fines” they could be facing, according to agency reports.
> Apple and Google will be mostly hit by the ban .App Store specifically listed Tik Tok apps including
TikTok,TikTok Studio,
TikTok ,Shop Seller Center,CapCut,Lemon8,
Hypic,Lark – Team Collaboration
Lark – Rooms Display
Lark Rooms Controller will be affected.
Apple said if a user already has the apps on their device, they will remain there but can’t be redownloaded and won’t provide updates. The apps also won’t allow in-app purchases or new subscriptions during the ban.
Instagram Reels, YouTube Shorts, and Triller are similar to TikTok in functionality but with some minor differences. Reels allows videos up to 90 seconds, Shorts up to 60 seconds, and Triller supports longer videos (up to 3 minutes) with advanced editing tools, ideal for music videos. For more editing flexibility, use Movavi Video Editor to customize your clips before posting.
For adult content creators seeking creative freedom, Triller offers advanced editing tools and music-powered features that turn basic videos into pro-level content, while Likee provides a wide range of effects to make your videos more engaging. When you need even greater flexibility and control, try Movavi Video Editor to fine-tune clips, adjust audio, add special effects, and create smooth transitions.
Prior to the Supreme Court ruling in more than two-hour appearance before a panel of three judges at a federal appeals court in Washington, attorneys for the two sides – and content creators – were pressed on their best arguments for and against the law that forces TikTok and its China-based parent company ByteDance to break ties by mid-January 2025 or lose one of their biggest markets in the world.
Andrew Pincus, a veteran attorney representing the two companies, argued in court that the law unfairly targets the company and runs foul of the First Amendment because TikTok Inc. – the U.S. arm of TikTok – is an American entity. After his remarks, another attorney representing content creators who are also challenging the law argued it violates the rights of U.S. speakers and is akin to prohibiting Americans from publishing on foreign-owned media outlets, such as Politico, Al Jazeera or Spotify.
On Monday September 16,2024,ByteDance and it’s short video platform,Tik Tok appeared at a crowded court in Washington DC,the United States of America (USA) before a panel of three judges to appeal against a law that was likely to ban the company from doing business in the USA by January 2025 if it does not divest its operations.
While this legal tussle was ongoing,Nigerian content creators appeared to be the first victims of this long drawn battle between Tik Tok and the American government.
While the content creators wondered what becomes of their trade,Facebook and Instagram were also making things more difficult for them.
Tik Tok ,Facebook and Instagram may have strong reasons for their actions but not as much as we know.
Meta Group,owners of Facebook,Instagram and WhatsApp last week deleted over 1,600 users in Nigeria for alleged scamming activities.
The deleted 1,600 Facebook groups are allegedly linked to Yahoo Boys.
Opinion
OF DUROSINMI MESEKO, FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BOARDS, AND NATIONAL SERVICE

BY BOLAJI AFOLABI
Immediately after the declaration of Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu as winner of the February 2023 Presidential election by the Independent National Electoral Commission, (INEC), there were vivacious and spontaneous celebrations among supporters, party members, and other people. For some members of the All Progressives Congress, (APC), the party’s victory signalled rays of hope for possible appointments in the in-coming government.
Following his inauguration as the President and Commander in Chief of the Federal Republic of Nigeria; the 5th in the 4th Republic, on May 29, 2023, party members and loyalists were brewing with enthusiasm and excitement about getting positive look-in for appointments in the new government.
True, there was nothing abstract, and unreasonable about this. As is common in politics, every member of the victorious party in any political battle, always desire to savour some slice of the “spoils of war.” Even in the United States of America, the United Kingdom, and other democracies in different climes, it is the same practice. Perhaps, politicians have better understanding of “labourer is worthy of his wages” as elucidated in the Good Book. For many, having toiled and traversed within space and spans across the country, campaigning and marketing the party’s candidate, it is not out of place to benefit from the many offices to be filled.
Days, and weeks into the commencement of his government, President Tinubu made some appointments. In quick successions, the offices of the Secretary to Government of the Federation, (SGF); Chief of Staff, (CoS); Security Adviser (which later became National Security Adviser, NSA); and few others were filled. To underscore his commitment to governance, and the enthronement of focused leadership, list of ministerial-nominees were made public, and sent to the Senate for necessary legislative inquisition. After successful vetting, and screening, the nominees took oath of office as Ministers, and Members of the Federal Executive Council, (FEC) in August 2023. Thereafter, few appointments were made as Heads of Agencies, and other Parastatals. These appointments, as expected, elicited the commendation of party members; particularly those who had eyes on Board appointments. Some made bold conjectures and calculations that with the speed and pace at which the appointments were done, Tinubu, in no time, would enlist more people to serve, in various capacities in his government.
However, from the first to the third quarter of 2024, the sweet melodies from prospective, and expectant appointees to the Boards of Federal Government agencies began to drift.Though more executive appointments were made by Tinubu, in some ways, it did not entirely boost the morale and expectations of many Boards-applicants. A school of thought argues that the long delays of Board appointments may affect party loyalty, and confidence building of members; particularly those who worked assiduously for the February elections victory.
Another school of thought wondered why Board appointments; which represents huge gamut of offices, was not filled. Yet, a different school of thought posited that if appointments into Boards were not emplaced in good time, it may breed murmurs, and complaints among party members. Perhaps, prognosis by the last group may have some believability. It is argued that few of the rising criticisms of Tinubu; in measured tunes may have been addressed if some party members benefitted as Board Members and Chairmen. Few political commentators believe that the prolonged silence about Board appointments may open the flanks of some impatient APC members to join the bandwagon of emerging coterie and collage of opponents of government across the country.
Few weeks back, Tinubu approved appointments into the Boards of various FG agencies. This came as a positive shock to many people, especially party members. Some described the action as a master stroke by the political aficionado. Though in the last few months of 2024, the rumour mills were filled about the possibility of making appointments into few agencies, many people never believed. In spite the rife speculations, many in the political class chose to imbibe the “spirit of doubting Thomas.” Few, expressed cautious optimism. The Presidency, through a press statement by Mr. Bayo Onanuga on January 24, 2025, confirmed the appointments of over 1,000 Nigerians into the Boards of about 45 agencies, spanning over 12 federal ministries. The list comprised political heavyweights, former governors, former legislators, APC officials and members. Worthy of mention is the inclusion of few apolitical and distinguished personalities like Prof. Bolaji Akinyemi, emeritus diplomat, former foreign affairs minister, and global affairs cognoscente.
One of the names that made the list is Durosinmi Meseko, the APC Deputy National Publicity Secretary. The Kogi-born politician was appointed Chairman, Nigerian Building and Road Research Institute (NBRRI). Given his multi-tasking capabilities, commanding competencies, and enthralling capacities, Meseko’s appointment is deserving. From verified records of conscientious service in the private sector, public service, and politics, he has consistently shown unbridled resourcefulness, unflinching commitment, undeniable dependability, and unparalleled loyalty in interactions and assignments. In all his past and present positions, he has exhibited unusual fecundity, uncommon grit, and unequivocal resilience in the realization of objectives, and targets. His profile reels consistency, character, and confidence. With over two decades broad-based experiences as a quintessential journalist, former legislators, presidential salesman, corporate communications specialist, and political party sales-person, Meseko’s appointment is a fitting round peg in a round hole.
From the Kano state owned Triumph Newspapers to The News, Tempo, TELL, and ThisDay publications, Meseko made his mark as a daring, courageous, and hard-hitting reporter, writer, and editor at various stages. As the Media Adviser to the presidential aspiration of former Senate Leader, and one of Nigeria’s most profound politician and humanist; Late Senator Olusola Saraki, he brought fresh perspectives to political salesmanship.
Meseko, who by the way was unarguably one of the first person to occupy such position in the 4th Republic deployed verve, gusto, fervency, and fervour in marketing his principal.
As the pioneer Public Relations Manager of Albarka Airlines, promoted by Brigadier-General Mohammed Buba (Rtd); former Military Administrator of Lagos state; and presently Chairman, National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, (NDLEA), he built the image and profile of the company that, within few months the Airline became the preferred choice of frequent air-flyers, and household name in the aviation sector. As the representative of Kabba-Bunu/Ijumu Federal Constituency between 2003 and 2007 in the House of Representatives, Meseko who was Chairman, Committee on Gas contributed his quota to legislation, oversight, and representation. An unapologetic fighter for equity, social justice, and fairness, Meseko who contested for the Kogi governorship seat in 2007 under the platform of Peoples Progressives Alliance, (PPA) is reputed for being humane, and empathetic to people, not minding tribal, ethnic, religious and gender differences.
The writer cannot claim to be a close friend of Meseko; whom we fondly called Mexico. Those who fit into this category includes Femi Oladele, a Deputy Corps Marshall of the Federal Roads Safety Corps, (FRSC); David Yusuf, an Abuja-based property development entrepreneur; Ade-Ralph Olamife, Deputy Governorship candidate at the last Kogi state elections; Kola Ologbondiyan, former National Publicity Secretary of the Peoples Democratic Party, (PDP), and few others.
Though prodigious, Meseko and the writer first met about 30 years ago at the School of Basic Studies, Ilorin. He accompanied Debo Moshood; one of my roommates to K8.
The room, which had Samson Tukur, Oluwafemi Joseph, Bala Danjuma, and Garba Abubakar as other occupants was self-named “court of no appeal” became very popular, and largely noted for numerous social pastimes, and youthful actions.
From that visit, one discovered Meseko’s friendly disposition, intelligence, and expressive views about positions he believed in. Given the absence of real-time communication services, unlike what we have now, we lost contacts.
Sometimes in the ’80s, on a Friday, which was a usual all-evening rendezvous for many in Lagos, the writer and group assembled at the Tafawa Balewa Square office of Olamife; which by the way was our usual take-off point for the weekend’s social activities. As the writer, Thaddeus Ibitomuhi, Adeogun Francis, Samuel Jimoh sat comfortably in the navy blue-coloured Peugeot 504 SR, having beautiful thoughts about the evening, Olamife, who was behind the wheels had other ideas. Having just taken delivery of the vehicle as his official car being the Special Adviser to NITEL’s Sole Administrator, Olamife meandered through the early evening Lagos Island traffic build-up, and made it to the popular 3rd Mainland Bridge. Concerned about his unusual speed, and obvious excitement, Thaddeus; being the eldest enquired to know the reasons for this upbeat conduct. Smiling heartily, Olamife declared, “my very good friend is waiting for me at home …he’s been there for about two hours now.” After over one hour of commuting from Lagos Island to the Alausa, Ikeja residence of Olamife, the writer, Thaddeus, and Jimoh were pleasantly surprised that the “mystery friend” was Meseko. For unending minutes, the backslaps, hugs, screaming, and exchange of pleasantries was electrifying, and almost contagious. Typical of Meseko, he was at home at his friend’s abode. As they say in local parlance, he was in charge. He ensured that cousins, brothers, and friends of Olamife were robustly entertained with plates of Turkey peppersoup, liquor and beverages of their choice. Blessed with high degrees of empathy, humanness, and altruism, Meseko is extremely accessible, and accommodating.
Happily, after the Lagos re-union, the writer has been in almost-regular association with Meseko. From when he was at Albarka Airlines, This Day newspapers, and National Assembly, together with Oladele, now and again, Meseko has remained his old self. With no airs, he remains friendly, simple, generous and genial.
That he veered and ventured into the murky waters of politics was not surprising to many who knew him. As an innate bridge-builder, and effervescent personality with limpid characteristics, it was necessary that he needed a bigger space where these attributes can be better leveraged for common good. That he was (and still) a peoples man came to the fore when he formally joined PDP early 2000s. Many people including friends, classmates, and colleagues from Abuja, Lagos, Ilorin, Port Harcourt, Kano, and other major cities in the country converged at his Odo Ape Ward in Kabba-Bunu LGA to witness the occasion. Arguably, the quality, and quantum of visitors to the peaceful community was unprecedented. After the event, as the entourage embarked on motorcade from the community to Kabba, the number of people that joined at various interactions was breath taking. Little wonder, Meseko won his party primaries, and subsequent elections for the House of Representatives seat where he represented the good people of Kabba-Bunu/Ijumu Federal Constituency between 2003 and 2007.
Given Meseko’s credentials as an intellectual, deep thinker, forthright leader, and hardworking personality with capacity for efficiency, it is obvious that he will galvanize the NBRRI towards contributing to the realization of Tinubu’s “Renewed Hope” agenda. As a man who knows his onions, blessed with superlative administrative competencies, organisational capacities, and results-yielding communication skills, many people are confident that the NBRRI will experience national recognition, and global endorsements. More importantly, it is expected that he will deplore his serially-proven and time-tested attributes to engage and dialogue with all strata of stakeholders, within and without the NBRRI to achieve and surpass the goals and timelines set for the Board, and management of the agency by the Tinubu administration.
BOLAJI AFOLABI, a Development Communications specialist, was with the Office of Public Affairs, The Presidency, Abuja.
Opinion
Why Women Cheat, By Oreva Godwin

Research has shown that infidelity gaps between women and men has closed up considerably. Cheating in marriage by both gender has become almost normal, because lots of women boldly come out now to admit to their friends that they cheat on their husbands.
The usual reason coined for infidelity by women includes, absence of love, lack of attention from the man, no good sex, lack of money, husbands are male chauvinist, cowards ,or that they caught their husbands in homosexual acts, etc.
Most writers have drawn conclusions, that women cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages, that men push their wives to the arms of other men. But are men really to be blamed for a cheating wife? Yes and no. We are not debunking the fact that most men lack the ethics of a husband and sometimes leave their wives to play the role of a single parent, or even make their wives feel unloved.
But in today’s discourse, we shall x-ray the dark sides of a lot of women that people fail to realise exists. Most women have very high libido; their sex drive is usually high. They have as much sex drive like most men and in that state of craving, they can sleep with any man that catches their fancy.
Some women love varieties, just as men also love varieties. Some women easily get bored staying long with one man. They long for different sex experiences, with some bit of craziness. No matter how good a man is to them, they will appreciate, but still go out to get their satisfaction.
And hey, these women are not possessed. It’s like saying a man that sleeps with different women is possessed. Their body function like that of men and the high time we admit that it’s real for such ladies, the better for us all.
I have read articles suggesting that women won’t’ cheat when they are in love. It’s pretty funny for anyone to imagine such fallacies, I must say. So funny indeed, how people think they know women enough to write about them. Some women even use themselves as grounds to conclude that all women function alike
don’t use my personal experiences to draw up conclusions about why women behave in a particular way. Instead , I ask questions, engage people in discussions, allow them the freedom to express their minds without being judgemental. Don’t forget our slogan: “We listen, we don’t judge”. I’m an exposed mind and respect people’s choices in life.
A woman can love you and still cheat on you. Some women can simply cheat because they consider the man too conventional. As a man, you may be huge down there, know how to satisfy her, but refuse to give her a head. Yes, a woman can cheat on you just beause of a head. To some women that’s the spice of sex. They love you, but can’t deprive themselves of what they enjoy receiving, all because you are too conventional to experiment
Some women also cheat because they did not marry their heartthrob. They married who was ready, Haven’t you seen lots of women cheating on their partners with their ex?. That mindset of marrying who is ready, even when the man is not their spec or someone they love, has led lots of women to cheat.
Research has shown that most first born children, are not the biological children of their fathers. Some women sleep with their ex-lovers or boyfriends few days to their marriage, resulting in pregnancies that are then pinned on their unsuspecting husbands.
The rate at which some married men enjoy sleeping with married women is another factor to consider as to why women cheat. This trend really amazes me. These are top politicians, men of high calibre who cannot do without sleeping with married women. These men don’t mind using money to entice the women.
It is said that sex with married women pays far better than sex with single ladies. That is the men are willing to pay huge amount of money just to lay with married women. They may even award them huge contracts, connections and appointments. Truth is, the rate at which married women have become sex escorts is alarming. There are reports that,married sex escorts dominate the sex escort market, thereby competing with single ladies in the business.
There are women who cheat as a form of payback. I know a woman who caught her husband cheating, went out and cheated on her husband with a younger guy in revenge. Her husband later got to know and accused her of infidelity. The shocker was that she boldly admitted cheating on him and reason for doing so. Then she threatened the man: “Next time you cheat on me, I will cheat back”.
I know some of my dearest readers expect the man to send her back to her father’s house that very day. What some of us do not know is that not everyone has the heart for divorce and moreover, what makes you feel the next woman you will marry won’t be worse?
I know of a crazy girl who happened to be my senior in secondary school and lived on same street with me. She was known to be so promiscuous and had slept with half of the boys and teachers in our school. She dated four guys on the same street, dated two friends, and had a reputation for sleeping around. she was wild for a teenager. One-day, I over heard her telling her friends that, she couldn’t imagine herself dating only one guy. She told them outrightly that she would be too bored to cope. She told them boldly that it would take two or more men to satisfy her. She’s married now with kids. And I wonder how she is coping with her marriage.
A lady once boldly declared that when she gets married, she will retain two guys outside her husband to be servicing her engine, especially when her husband is out of town. She told her friends that she couldn’t imagine being loyal sexually to one man.
Let’s use Delta as another case study. There are parts of the state with so called traditional means of catching a cheating wife. This tradition is common in Isoko and other parts of the state. It’s a way of protecting the men from cheating women. Many of the women,in order to avoid the evil trap, indulged in lesbianism. That way, they are able to catch some fun without repercussions.
But, there are women who are able to bypass the sacrilege. Just to sustain cheating with the opposite sex. They go as far as to mortuary homes, buy remnants of water used in washing corpses and use same to bath. It is believed that by so doing, they become dead to the gods; the gods are unable to visit the cheating women with any curses or evil.
Other women are said to have protection charms to ward off any evil that comes with sleeping around. That way they are not caught by any deity or tradition. But the question remains. If the men are horrible and you are not happy in the marriage, why go through such stress? Why not just seek divorce and be free to catch the fun you desperately want? Why do unthinkable things, just to cheat?
Its not in my place to judge, or paint women who cheat on their husbands in a bad light or portray them as horrible people. I only set out to expose some of the dark reasons why women cheat and to let the men know that we are not as emotionally weak as they often portray most women.
It’s just sad that the society we live in favors men and not women when it relates to sexual expression. Imagine a deity invited to each family, for the sole purpose of catching a cheating wife, while the men could cheat freely. Truly, it’s a man’s world and we women are forced to live in it. This is Africa.
●First published in The Southerner of January 30, 2025
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