Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida (IBB), Nigeria’s former military president has shared a story how he married his wife, Maryam.

He also revealed that he was the one that converted her to Islam.

He opened up about his marriage to his late wife Maryam in his newly released autobiography.

The book, titled ‘A Journey in Service‘, was launched on Thursday. The event also featured a fundraiser for his presidential library.

In the memoir, Babangida said he first met Maryam, formerly Maria Okogwu, during their younger years in Kaduna.

He said at the time, they were both living in the unmarried officers’ quarters on Kanta Road.

The former military ruler said he was immediately drawn to Maryam’s striking beauty, and their friendship blossomed over time.

IBB said despite his training stints abroad, including in India and the United Kingdom, their bond endured.

The 83-year-old statesman said he would often visit Maryam at the home of his close friend and cousin Garba Duba, whose father was fond of him.

He said the connection allowed him to spend more time with Maryam and their friendship continued to grow.

“I first met Maria Okogwu (as she then was). As young officers, we shared digs in the unmarried officer’s quarters by Kanta Road in Kaduna, and I was now seeing more of Maria,” he wrote.

“She was stunning. Her ebony beauty set off enchanting eyes, and her dazzling smile showed off a lovely set of teeth; when she smiled – and she often smiled – her face lit up, and her eyes danced. Duba was as much a brother as a cousin to her, and, on the back of that, I often saw Maria at Duba’s house and when she visited us at Kanta Road.

“I was very fond of Maria, and she, eventually, of me. There was more than an element of predestination in our relationship.

“It was at NMTC that I began to notice Maria more. Duba’s father was fond of me, so I was mindful that my bonds with the family meant that I had to be more cautious than usual, a factor that synced with my natural shyness.

“She and I remained friends and maintained that friendship through my early years in the army, which included sojourns abroad for training in India and the United Kingdom.”

IBB recalled how his near-death experience at age 28 sparked his desire to get married. He said after being shot in battle, he was left with a piece of shrapnel lodged in the right side of his chest.

The former head of state said while receiving treatment at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) in Idi-Araba, Lagos, he felt a sense of urgency to settle down.

IBB added that as his parents’ only surviving male child, he felt the weight of responsibility to start a family and secure his legacy.

“This was the first time I recall seriously thinking it was time to find a wife as a life partner. I was 28, and it seemed to me that it was time to settle down,” he wrote.

“While I was in the hospital, the Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, General Yakubu Gowon, had gotten married to his lovely wife, Victoria, with much pomp and military pageantry.

“I cannot deny that their marriage and the accompanying ceremony further focused my mind on getting married myself.

“Lying in my hospital bed, I had lots of time to run through the various relationships I had had and try to decide which of them would best stand the test of time. Time and again, Maria Okogwu kept popping into my mind with her ageless beauty and enchanting smile.

“I had settled on Maria as the woman I would wed before being discharged from the hospital, and as soon as I was discharged, I made my way to Kaduna, where she lived with her mother and uncle. I was anxious to share the good news with her: I had decided we were destined for a life together. I admired her greatly for her reserved nature and the fact that she was well brought up.

“I wanted to make my intentions known to her and was determined not to accept No for an answer. Fortune favours the bold, and it smiled upon me; I counted and still count myself lucky. Initially, Maria was highly sceptical of me as marrying material.

“She knew that I had a track record of being something of a man about town, and those were not the qualities she wanted in a husband. She was unconvinced of my capacity to be serious, and many people said as much to her.”

IBB said with the support of Muhammadu King, Garba Duba’s father, he was able to win Maryam’s heart.

He revealed that his faith was an integral part of his life so he asked her to convert from Christianity to Islam.

Babangida said he also promised Maryam that he would not take multiple wives, a practice he had seen cause turmoil in other families.

“I shared with her the fact that my faith was an integral and essential part of my life and that I would require her to convert to Islam,” he said.

“Praise be to Allah; this was not a difficult decision for Maria. Being part-Christian and part-Muslim at birth and already living in a Muslim household, it was never going to be wholly uncharted territory for her.

“She adapted with relative ease to married life as a Muslim. In proposing to Maria, I assured her that, though a Muslim, I did not intend to take multiple wives and bring up children from different women. I knew full well that my chances of a stable family life would be significantly improved if I avoided polygamy. I had witnessed close up – both among professional colleagues and in my extended family – the headaches and heartaches this led to, and that was not the life I wanted to live or to share with her.”

Maryam died from ovarian cancer in a Los Angeles hospital on December 27, 2009, at the age of 61.

Babangida said coping without her had not been easy, but the memories of their life together provided solace.

IBB married Mariam on September 6, 1969. They have four children together — Aisha, Muhammad, Aminu, and Halima.

Former Kaduna State governor, Nasir El-Rufai, has said that President Bola Tinubu, not the National Assembly, was responsible for his exclusion from the ministerial list.

Speaking on Monday during an interview on Arise TV’s Prime Time, El-Rufai dismissed claims that the Senate rejected his nomination over security concerns.

“The National Assembly had nothing to do with it, the president didn’t want me in his cabinet,” El-Rufai said.

El-Rufai, a founding member of the All Progressives Congress (APC), also criticised the party’s leadership, stating that its organs have been inactive since Tinubu assumed office.

“I’m a founding member of the APC, but I have concern about how the party is being run… how many people sacrificed a lot to ensure that it was an internally democratic party with progressive ideals, two years after the election of President of Tinubu, none of the party organs is functioning. The progressive ideals are not being pursued with any vigour,” he said.

The former governor revealed that after extensive negotiations, Tinubu personally requested his support and assured him of a ministerial nomination, which came with certain conditions. However, the president later withdrew the offer.

“Since I left office and the president begged me publicly to support him, I said I would and I don’t want anything. I am a self-made man I don’t need anything. Through two months of negotiations we finally agreed that he would nominate me as minister and there were certain conditions I attached to that, along the line, either the president changed his mind. Please don’t believe the story that the National Assembly rejected me, they had nothing to do with it, the president didn’t want me in his cabinet,” he added.

On the alleged security concerns cited for his rejection, El-Rufai challenged the claim, insisting there was no report against him.

“What was the security issue the National Assembly had against me? Where is the report? There were far less qualified, less experienced that scaled through because the president made a call. He is a human being he’s entitled to change his mind,” he said.

By Kayode Sanni-Arewa

Ex- Nigerian minister of education, Oby Ezekwesili, has slammed Senate president, Godswill Akpabio, over his alleged misconduct towards female lawmakers.

In a statement issued on Monday, Ezekwesili expressed concerns over Akpabio’s behaviour, citing instances where he allegedly humiliated female senators, including Natasha Akpoti and Ireti Kingibe.

Recall on Saturday that Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan spoke out about the harassment and exclusion she has faced in the Senate, citing a pattern of behaviour that began after a nightclub incident last year.

In an interview with the Brekete Family, where Akpoti-Uduaghan had revealed that she had been denied privileges, pulled out of international activities, and even had her name struck out from a United Nations event she was nominated for.

The senator claimed that she had been self-funding her trips to international events, which she believed are important for her constituents, Nigerian women, and the country as a whole.

She had also alleged that her seat in the Senate was changed to a location where she would be less visible, suggesting that this was an attempt to silence her or eliminate her from being seen.

Akpoti-Uduaghan’s allegations came after Senate President Godswill Akpabio faced criticism for his sexist remarks against her, with over 300 women groups demanding an unreserved apology.

The incident highlights concerns about gender discrimination and verbal harassment in Nigeria’s political institutions.

Reacting in her statement, Ezekwesili encouraged women in public leadership to stand strong and continue to represent their constituents, emphasising that representation matters.

The former presidential candidate, also warned Akpabio that he would face consequences if he continued to harass women in public leadership.

The statement she shared on her X handle partly read: “I tweeted last year that if not for the rottenness of our Judiciary, Nigerians would not have an @Senator_Akpabio presiding over the upper house of our @nassnigeria – the Nigerian Senate @NGRSenate.

“That statement has been given proof by Mr Akpabio himself in the nearly 2 years of his “leadership” of the Senate.

“One issue stands out. Mr Akpabio implicitly thinks that his even more accomplished female colleagues must be humiliated in order for his ego to be assuaged.”

Ezekwesili added, “Is it not a shame that one day it is @NatashaAkpoti , another day @IretiKingibe and yet another day @NatashaAkpoti that are at the receiving end of the appalling misconduct of the topmost officer of our Legislature?”

“And we wonder why Nigeria shamefully places at the lowest neighborhood of the ranking of countries on Women in public leadership , specifically Legislature at 4.4%.

“I encourage the women in public leadership to never ever lose their Voice. Continue to stand strong in your commitment to citizens and prove that representation matters.

“All aspects of data do in fact show that representation matters a lot.”

The former Vice President of World Bank (Africa Region), warned Senate President to be prepared to face what would come to him next time he harasses any woman well-elected unlike him.

“Next time Mr Akpabio harasses any woman well-elected unlike him and representing her constituency @ the National Assembly or any woman at all anywhere in this country, he must get ready. Enough said.”

Guardian