Relationship

My wife has put on weight and I’m no longer attracted to her. What should I do?

Published

4 months ago

May 24, 2024

I’m in my early 50s and am starting to find my wife not sexually attractive any more. Over the years she has gradually put on weight to the point she now weighs more than me; I’m 6ft and normal weight for an athletic, active man. I’ve got mixed, conflicted feelings about it.

On a physical basis I don’t like it, but she’s now started walking with a different gait and I find myself disgusted and pitying her. On a medical basis, it can’t be good long term.

I have mentioned it in the past and asked her to make lifestyle changes, which last three to four weeks. It’s making me feel resentful and not respected. I feel as if I shouldn’t have to ask my wife to be a reasonable weight. But I’m simultaneously avoiding the issue because I don’t want to humiliate and upset her. How to address this?

Eleanor says: I’m going to set aside your concerns about your wife’s health. Partly because – as I’ve written before – there’s evidence people can be healthy regardless of their weight. Mainly though, it sounds as though the way this matters to you isn’t primarily to do with her health.

If it were, we should also be talking about her sleep habits, stress levels and carcinogen intake. It sounds like the way this matters to you is that you find her less attractive.

Long-term monogamy asks us to find one person attractive, instead of all others, in perpetuity. This is hard. We all change as we age, and maintaining a marriage will – if we’re lucky! – mean we’re still excluding all others when we’re liver-spotted and all out of collagen. Attraction shifts a lot in the intervening decades, and it’s OK to struggle with those transitions.

You say you feel “disgusted” and “not respected”. It sounds like weight is wrapped up with a lot of moralised failures for you; like you attribute laziness to her, slovenliness, disregard for how you experience her. This just isn’t a good inference. People’s weight changes for all kinds of reasons, especially as we age and our hormones change.

Why does her weight make you feel this way, rather than any other “lifestyle change” or feature of her appearance? Do you also feel you “shouldn’t have to ask” her to maintain her hair, her clothes? What about sleep, which is also a huge predictor of long-term health and possibly day-to-day attractiveness, too?

What if she someday feels disgusted and disrespected by your greying hair, your wrinkling skin, your loss of muscle?

It’s one thing to struggle with finding your partner attractive. It’s another to ascribe a failing to your partner in light of that; to feel contempt for them, or like they are beneath you. It will be vital for the viability of your marriage that you’re able to separate these feelings.

That’s true even purely from the standpoint of self-interest, too. Nobody is a bigger freak in the sheets and more excited to invest in attractiveness than somebody who thinks their partner worships them. And nobody tries to hide their body away and recoils from touch more surely than someone who can smell their partner’s contempt.

Glamour, sexiness, investment in yourself – these all require a degree of confidence that your effort will be worthwhile; that you won’t be humiliated by being judged and found wanting even with your red lipstick on. She will be able to tell that you feel disgusted by her. I promise you this will not lead her to aspire to being “less disgusting”.

Attraction waning is one thing. But don’t confuse that for a moral insight about your wife. If you cannot separate those feelings, you’d do her a kindness by leaving. But you may regret the conflation of appearance and moral value once your own body begins to change under you.

Relationship

7 Negative Effects of Having Too Much $ex

Published

2 days ago

September 6, 2024

Admin

The effects of having too much sex can vary from person to person and depend on various factors such as individual health, overall well-being, and personal preferences. While sexual activity is generally considered a healthy part of adult life, excessive or compulsive sexual behavior can potentially have negative consequences. Here are some potential effects to consider:

1. Physical fatigue: According to Healthline, Frequent and vigorous sexual activity can lead to physical exhaustion and fatigue, similar to engaging in any other strenuous physical activity.

2. Emotional exhaustion: Repeated sexual encounters without adequate emotional connection or fulfillment can result in emotional exhaustion and feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction according to Healthline.

3. Relationship strain: If one partner has a significantly higher sex drive or desires more frequent sexual activity than the other, it can lead to relationship conflicts, resentment, or dissatisfaction.

4. Neglecting other aspects of life: When sex becomes the primary focus and other important areas of life, such as work, hobbies, or social activities, are neglected, it can have negative consequences on overall well-being and fulfillment.

5. Physical discomfort or injury: Engaging in excessive sexual activity without proper lubrication, rest, or recovery time can lead to physical discomfort, genital soreness, or even injury.

6. Sexual dysfunction: In some cases, excessive sexual activity can contribute to sexual dysfunction, such as difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection (in men) or reduced sexual arousal and lubrication (in women).

7. Risky behaviors: Engaging in multiple sexual encounters or having unprotected sex with multiple partners without taking necessary precautions can increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies.

It’s important to note that what may be considered “too much sex” varies for each individual and depends on personal preferences, relationship dynamics, and overall well-being. If you have concerns about your sexual behaviors or their impact on your physical or emotional health, it’s advisable to seek guidance from a healthcare professional or a qualified therapist who can provide personalized advice and support.

Relationship

LADY Narrates How She Sleeps With Over 100 Men + Video

Published

1 month ago

August 5, 2024

Admin

A lady (name withheld) has narrated her ordeals as a teenager till when she was close to 25 years or age.

In an interview with HeavyDence Blog, she said she has slept with over 100 men, sometimes six men in a day.

She narrated the hell she went through in the hands of her biological mother.

WATCH VIDEO: https://fb.watch/tLAUudwm1K/?mibextid=Nif5oz

Relationship

Seven erotic body parts not to be ignored in the other room

Published

2 months ago

July 21, 2024

Austin Ojomah

1. The neck

The neck is the body’s most vulnerable zone. Just a kiss on it can make you weak at the knees. The back of the neck and shoulders are also extra sensitive. Light love bites on the area can send shivers down your partners spine.

2. The breast

Of course, nipple play is very common during foreplay but there’s so much to the breast than nipples.

3. Inner thighs

Because the inner thighs are close to the p***y area they are very sensitive. Just a touch of the a finger can make her wet.

4. The stomach

especially the belly button area. Kissing and licking the area can send shivers to her body. Massaging the lower stomach can also indirectly stimulate the g-spot.

5. The ears

The ears contain a large number of nerve endings. This is a highly sensitive spot. Caressing, licking or even blowing gently into the ears can be a huge turn on. It can even lead to an orgasm 👀

6. The lower back

The space where the lower back and the butt meet is a very sweet spot. It is connected to the pelvis so touching , kissing and licking this spot can set fireworks in the body.

7. Mouth: quality kissing can make everything soft.