By Gloria Ikibah
In Nigeria today, there’s a noticeable trend among many young men who shy away from committed relationships. Instead of settling down with one woman in marriage, they choose to have baby mamas.
This change in attitude leaves many ladies confused and heartbroken, especially when these men initially show signs of wanting something serious.
Firstly these deceptive men start with ‘The Flirting Game’. Nigerian men are known for their charm, and many young men have perfected the art of wooing or gainingthe love of these ladies, especially as they know exactly what to say and do to make a lady feel special. From sweet words to constant attention, they paint a picture of a serious relationship. However, as time goes on, the promises of commitment and a future together start to fade. The relationship stalls, and instead of moving towards marriage, it either ends abruptly or shifts into a more casual arrangement.
Secondly, One major reason for this behavior is the ‘Fear of Commitment’. Many young men in Nigeria today are afraid of the responsibilities that come with marriage, keeping a home or even being a “Bread Winner”.The idea of being tied down to one woman for life, dealing with in-laws, and providing for a family can be overwhelming. They prefer the freedom that comes with having a baby mama, they get to enjoy fatherhood without the full weight of marital responsibilities.
Another reason is the Financial Pressures that comes with marriage, especially with the current economic situation in Nigeria, and this also plays a significant role.
Marriage in Nigeria is often seen as an expensive affair, from the traditional rites to the wedding ceremony. Many young men feel they are not financially ready to take on such a burden. On the other hand, having a baby mama seems like a more manageable option. They can provide for the child and the mother without the pressure of a full-blown marriage.
Also having a baby mama is one of the many ‘Influence of Popular Culture’ in Nigeria. Popular culture also glamorizes the idea of having a baby mama. Many celebrities and public figures in Nigeria have baby mamas, and it’s become somewhat of a fashion. Young men see this and think it’s the way to go. They want to enjoy the perks of fatherhood without the strings attached to marriage.
The Lady’s Perspective
For the ladies, this trend is frustrating. They enter into relationships with the hope of marriage, only to realize that the man they are with has no such intentions. It’s disheartening to invest time, love, and emotions into a relationship that has no future. Some end up becoming baby mamas themselves, often not by choice, but because they believed in the promises made by these men.
The preference for baby mamas over committed relationships among young Nigerian men is a reflection of various societal pressures and changing attitudes towards marriage. While some may see it as a way to avoid the challenges of marriage, it leaves many women feeling used and disappointed.
As this trend continues to grow, it’s important for both men and women to have honest conversations about their intentions from the onset of any relationship.
