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Research has shown that infidelity gaps between women and men has closed up considerably. Cheating in marriage by both gender has become almost normal, because lots of women boldly come out now to admit to their friends that they cheat on their husbands.

The usual reason coined for infidelity by women includes, absence of love, lack of attention from the man, no good sex, lack of money, husbands are male chauvinist, cowards ,or that they caught their husbands in homosexual acts, etc.

Most writers have drawn conclusions, that women cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages, that men push their wives to the arms of other men. But are men really to be blamed for a cheating wife? Yes and no. We are not debunking the fact that most men lack the ethics of a husband and sometimes leave their wives to play the role of a single parent, or even make their wives feel unloved.

But in today’s discourse, we shall x-ray the dark sides of a lot of women that people fail to realise exists. Most women have very high libido; their sex drive is usually high. They have as much sex drive like most men and in that state of craving, they can sleep with any man that catches their fancy.

Some women love varieties, just as men also love varieties. Some women easily get bored staying long with one man. They long for different sex experiences, with some bit of craziness. No matter how good a man is to them, they will appreciate, but still go out to get their satisfaction.

And hey, these women are not possessed. It’s like saying a man that sleeps with different women is possessed. Their body function like that of men and the high time we admit that it’s real for such ladies, the better for us all.

I have read articles suggesting that women won’t’ cheat when they are in love. It’s pretty funny for anyone to imagine such fallacies, I must say. So funny indeed, how people think they know women enough to write about them. Some women even use themselves as grounds to conclude that all women function alike

don’t use my personal experiences to draw up conclusions about why women behave in a particular way. Instead , I ask questions, engage people in discussions, allow them the freedom to express their minds without being judgemental. Don’t forget our slogan: “We listen, we don’t judge”. I’m an exposed mind and respect people’s choices in life.

A woman can love you and still cheat on you. Some women can simply cheat because they consider the man too conventional. As a man, you may be huge down there, know how to satisfy her, but refuse to give her a head. Yes, a woman can cheat on you just beause of a head. To some women that’s the spice of sex. They love you, but can’t deprive themselves of what they enjoy receiving, all because you are too conventional to experiment

Some women also cheat because they did not marry their heartthrob. They married who was ready, Haven’t you seen lots of women cheating on their partners with their ex?. That mindset of marrying who is ready, even when the man is not their spec or someone they love, has led lots of women to cheat.

Research has shown that most first born children, are not the biological children of their fathers. Some women sleep with their ex-lovers or boyfriends few days to their marriage, resulting in pregnancies that are then pinned on their unsuspecting husbands.

The rate at which some married men enjoy sleeping with married women is another factor to consider as to why women cheat. This trend really amazes me. These are top politicians, men of high calibre who cannot do without sleeping with married women. These men don’t mind using money to entice the women.

It is said that sex with married women pays far better than sex with single ladies. That is the men are willing to pay huge amount of money just to lay with married women. They may even award them huge contracts, connections and appointments. Truth is, the rate at which married women have become sex escorts is alarming. There are reports that,married sex escorts dominate the sex escort market, thereby competing with single ladies in the business.

There are women who cheat as a form of payback. I know a woman who caught her husband cheating, went out and cheated on her husband with a younger guy in revenge. Her husband later got to know and accused her of infidelity. The shocker was that she boldly admitted cheating on him and reason for doing so. Then she threatened the man: “Next time you cheat on me, I will cheat back”.

I know some of my dearest readers expect the man to send her back to her father’s house that very day. What some of us do not know is that not everyone has the heart for divorce and moreover, what makes you feel the next woman you will marry won’t be worse?

I know of a crazy girl who happened to be my senior in secondary school and lived on same street with me. She was known to be so promiscuous and had slept with half of the boys and teachers in our school. She dated four guys on the same street, dated two friends, and had a reputation for sleeping around. she was wild for a teenager. One-day, I over heard her telling her friends that, she couldn’t imagine herself dating only one guy. She told them outrightly that she would be too bored to cope. She told them boldly that it would take two or more men to satisfy her. She’s married now with kids. And I wonder how she is coping with her marriage.

A lady once boldly declared that when she gets married, she will retain two guys outside her husband to be servicing her engine, especially when her husband is out of town. She told her friends that she couldn’t imagine being loyal sexually to one man.

Let’s use Delta as another case study. There are parts of the state with so called traditional means of catching a cheating wife. This tradition is common in Isoko and other parts of the state. It’s a way of protecting the men from cheating women. Many of the women,in order to avoid the evil trap, indulged in lesbianism. That way, they are able to catch some fun without repercussions.

But, there are women who are able to bypass the sacrilege. Just to sustain cheating with the opposite sex. They go as far as to mortuary homes, buy remnants of water used in washing corpses and use same to bath. It is believed that by so doing, they become dead to the gods; the gods are unable to visit the cheating women with any curses or evil.

Other women are said to have protection charms to ward off any evil that comes with sleeping around. That way they are not caught by any deity or tradition. But the question remains. If the men are horrible and you are not happy in the marriage, why go through such stress? Why not just seek divorce and be free to catch the fun you desperately want? Why do unthinkable things, just to cheat?

Its not in my place to judge, or paint women who cheat on their husbands in a bad light or portray them as horrible people. I only set out to expose some of the dark reasons why women cheat and to let the men know that we are not as emotionally weak as they often portray most women.

It’s just sad that the society we live in favors men and not women when it relates to sexual expression. Imagine a deity invited to each family, for the sole purpose of catching a cheating wife, while the men could cheat freely. Truly, it’s a man’s world and we women are forced to live in it. This is Africa.

●First published in The Southerner of January 30, 2025