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Japa Bad side: “ How I Lost My Husband the Day We Arrived In Canada”

A lady narrated on social media how she lost her husband the very day she arrived Canada chronicling the ugly side of Japa.
That was what I told my mother when she asked why I hadn’t called to tell her we had settled in.
It wasn’t that he had died—no, death would have been easier. He was right there, breathing, moving, eating.
But the man I married, the one who promised to love and cherish me, had disappeared the moment we stepped foot on foreign soil.
It had always been our dream to relocate. Canada was the promised land, a place where we could build a better life for ourselves and our children. We spent years saving, applying, and praying for this moment. When my husband, Tunde, finally secured his visa, we celebrated like we had won the lottery.
“This is it, Lara! We’ve made it!” he had said, lifting me in his arms as we danced around our tiny living room in Lagos.
But no one warned me. No one told me that moving abroad was not just about packing bags and boarding a plane. No one told me that marriages were buried in the cold foreign soil, that the man you married in Nigeria could become unrecognizable within months.
It started with little things.
At first, Tunde was frustrated. Back home, he had been an executive at a bank, respected, admired. But in Canada, no one cared about his title. His degree meant nothing here. He was just another immigrant with no “Canadian experience.”
“I can’t be doing these menial jobs, Lara. Me, a whole branch manager, working in a warehouse? It’s embarrassing.”
So he sat at home, waiting for a miracle, while I took the first job I could find—cleaning offices at night. I worked like a machine, scrubbing floors while my husband scrolled endlessly through job postings, rejecting anything he thought was beneath him.
Then the blame started.
“If you had just stayed home instead of insisting on coming here, we wouldn’t be suffering like this!”
“You think you’re better than me now because you’re earning in dollars?”
When he wasn’t blaming me, he was out. At first, he said he was networking, meeting with “contacts.” Then, he stopped bothering with excuses. He would leave the house in the afternoon and return the next morning, smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume.
The first time I asked him where he had been, he laughed.
“Are you my mother?”
The second time, he slapped me.
That was the day I realized my husband was gone.
He stopped caring about the home. Bills were my problem. The children became my responsibility. He was just a guest in our house, showing up when he pleased, acting like we didn’t exist.
Then I found out about her.
A younger woman, a fellow immigrant, but one who had adapted quickly. She had a car, a better job, and most importantly, she had no responsibilities. No nagging wife, no crying children. Just fun and freedom.
I confronted him, hoping—foolishly—that he would deny it, that he would at least pretend to feel ashamed. But he just shrugged.
“Lara, you’re stressing me. This is how things are here. Women abroad don’t disturb their husbands like this. You need to adjust.”
Adjust?
To what? A marriage that had become a prison? A husband who had turned into a stranger?
I tried. For the sake of my vows, for the sake of the life we had built. I prayed. I fasted. I begged. But you cannot hold on to a man who has already let go.
The final straw came when I found out he had stopped paying rent. I had been sending him money every month, trusting him to take care of it while I focused on our savings. But he had been spending it elsewhere—on her.
When the eviction notice came, he didn’t even pretend to care.
“You’re the one working, aren’t you? Fix it.”
That night, I packed his bags. When he came home, I pointed to the door.
“Leave, Tunde.”
For the first time in months, he looked shocked.
“You can’t throw me out. I’m your husband!”
“No, Tunde. My husband is dead. You killed him.”
He stared at me, and for a moment, I saw something flicker in his eyes. Regret? Shame? Maybe. But it was too late.
He left. And I didn’t cry.
Because I had already mourned him long before that night.
So, if you ever dream of relocating, dream carefully.
Because sometimes, the plane ticket isn’t just taking you to a new country—it’s taking your marriage to its grave.
Looking back, I realize that things might have turned out differently if we had truly prepared for what relocation would mean for our marriage.
First, Tunde needed to be mentally prepared for the reality of starting over. Many Nigerian men struggle abroad because they are used to a system where their status as providers is tied to respect. When that status is stripped away, they feel lost and insecure. If he had humbled himself and taken whatever job was available, even if it wasn’t what he wanted, it would have kept him engaged and given him a sense of purpose.
Second, we should have prioritized communication and teamwork. Marriage is a partnership, especially in a new country where both partners must adjust. If Tunde had seen me as his ally instead of his competition, we could have faced our struggles together instead of allowing resentment to build between us.
And finally, we should have set clear expectations before we moved. Many couples relocate without discussing their roles, financial responsibilities, and the changes that might come with a new culture. If we had talked about these things openly before leaving Nigeria, maybe we would have been able to navigate the transition better.
Relocation doesn’t have to be the death of a marriage, but it requires humility, patience, and a willingness to adapt.
Without those things, no matter how strong the love was at the beginning, the marriage may not survive the journey.
News
How custodians of law turned to lawbreakers – Iche

Comrade Prince Saviour Iche expresses concern over the period of suspension given to Sen. Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan by the approval of the Senate President Godswill Akpabio; says the Senate has misrepresented the law they make if allegations such as sexual harassment can be suppressed rather than addressed.
Iche said he is particularly disappointed at the activities of some of the elected lawmakers. That a verbal confrontation from Natasha, who felt wronged by the indecent actions of the senate president towards her, has received backlash from her colleagues, who should have been in the best position to propose an inquest into the sexual harassment allegations.
Iche said,
“I have a big concern about the activities of the acclaimed lawmakers; some members of the House of Senate are not upright lawmakers but rather should be named lawbreakers; they ought to have known that there is a court injunction restricting the Senate from probing Natasha further but chose to ignore the law they must abide by, bending the laws to suit their purpose.”
“A committee was set up to address the situation within the Senate; out of 32 lawmakers, 13 of them didn’t sign authorization for suspension, and concerns have been raised about the apparent rush by the Senate Committee on Ethics, Code of Conduct, and Public Petitions, chaired by Senator Neda Imaseun (LP, Edo South), in handling the case.”
“Meanwhile, the committee had initially scheduled the hearing for Tuesday, March 11, only for it to be abruptly rescheduled. Why didn’t the committee wait? The absence of ranking senators from the process shows we knew where it was heading,” as said by a senator who chose to remain anonymous. He said a few others went behind the other 31 prominent senators and dishonorably signed and imposed a 6-month suspension on Natasha with seized salaries and other privileges.”
“If our laws are binding, the senators who authorized that suspension would have been under investigation and arrest by now because this is a slap on the judiciary; the senators, instead of maintaining the laws of the land, are rather breaking the law.”
“When Natasha was ready with her petition, she submitted the petition to the senate president. If Nigeria is a country where things are done rightly, Akpabio will step aside for a neutral body to preside over Natasha’s application or petition, not the alleged (Godswill Akpabio). Is Akpabio now the judge over his own issue? What a government!!!!”
“Still on the issue of suspension, why was she given a six-month suspension with salary and privileges withdrawn? What’s her offense? As a wife and mother, will Natasha lay allegations without an iota of truth? Remember that this same Akpabio had a case of sexual harassment in 2020 by someone else. The senate president and his cohort of lawbreakers in the senate should resign and let Natasha be. Natasha’s case should never be swept under the carpet, for there is always Karma.”
“It is important that the human rights body challenge the abnormality in the Senate that we’ve seen so far. We know what our women go through in their primary place of assignments, especially in the government and educational sectors. Not addressing Natasha’s issue appropriately simply means women have no immunity at all and are susceptible to underhanded treatment. Natasha’s punishment has become a reference point to further silence women. No! We have to challenge it.”
“What have Nigerians benefitted from the essence of appointing senators? Only a few of these senators live up to standard in developing their communities; when anti-people’s policies created by the government set in, the senators will not challenge these policies head-on; they seldom check and balance the government’s excesses.”
In conclusion, Iche said as a human rights advocate, it is an error to see one’s rights trampled upon without being their voice. He said if truly this matter with Natasha and Akpabio is suppressed, it means that the Nigerian judiciary is now silencing the voice of Nigerian women. It’s high time all human rights groups come out in unison to challenge the lawbreakers in the Senate.
News
Diasporans president seeks Natasha’s immediate reinstatement

President, Nigerians in Diaspora Chamber of Commerce (NiDCC), Ms Patience Ndidi Key, has called for the immediate reinstatement of the Senator representing Kogi Central in the National Assembly, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan.
Key, who said this in a statement on Sunday in Abuja, also called for a fair investigation into Akpoti-Uduaghan’s allegations of sexual harassment against the Senate President, Senator Godswill Akpabio.
The NiDCC boss, however,, urged the Senate to lift Akpoti-Uduaghan’s suspension while calling for the establishment of an independent panel to investigate the sexual harassment allegations thoroughly and impartially.
Tribune Online reports that the Senate Ethics, Privileges, and Public Petitions Committee, on March 6, 2025, recommended Akpoti-Uduaghan’s suspension for six months.
Key said the unfolding drama in the Senate surrounding Akpoti-Uduaghan’s allegations once again exposed the dysfunction, self-serving agenda, and lack of integrity within the legislative arm of the government, saying her (Akpoti-Uduaghan) suspension raised fundamental concerns about justice, gender equity, due process, and the abuse of power in our democracy.
“This development raises serious concerns about the future of women in Nigerian politics. If a sitting senator can be suspended and silenced for speaking up, what hope is there for ordinary Nigerian women who suffer harassment and intimidation daily?
“Sexual harassment is a serious crime, and it must never be trivialized, ignored, or used as a political tool. However, timing matters. Victims of harassment must speak up immediately and follow due process to ensure that the law takes its course.
“Delayed allegations weaken the credibility of the claim and give room for political manipulation. Silence empowers abusers. If any Nigerian, male or female, is subjected to harassment, they must report it immediately, demand justice, and ensure accountability,” the NiDCC president submitted.
Key said the Senate, as a democratic institution, should not be seen using procedural technicalities to suppress opposition and silence dissenting voices while advising the upper chamber to rather prioritize addressing challenges in the health sector, youth unemployment, and economic crisis facing the country.
“This entire episode proves that Nigeria’s political system needs a radical transformation. The current disciplinary mechanisms must be reviewed to prevent abuse of power and ensure equal treatment of all members, regardless of their gender or political stance.
“I also call for a serious commitment to gender equity in politics. Nigeria needs more women in governance. The silencing of female voices in leadership must end. Women in politics must be protected, empowered, and given the respect they deserve.
“The Senate must redirect its focus toward serving the Nigerian people by passing laws that solve real problems, not engaging in personal vendettas.”
She urged Nigerians to hold their senators accountable and demand transparency, justice, and leadership, calling on victims of harassment to speak up always.
News
Rivers lawmaker tells Fubara to remain on his lane over invitation

A member of the Rivers State House of Assembly, Lolo Isaiah Opuende, has poopoohed an invitation from Governor Siminialayi Fubara for a crucial meeting at Government House, Port Harcourt.
In a trending video, Opuende stated that it was time for the governor to “dey his dey” (be on his own) while the lawmakers would do the same.
Representing Akuku-Toru Constituency 2, Opuende recalled that when the political crisis began, their principal had warned that a time would come for both sides to go their separate ways.
He also questioned the mode of invitation transmission, arguing that it was not feasible for lawmakers to honor the governor’s request.
“How can you write a letter for the House of Assembly and put it on social media and expect us to come. The governor should write us the proper way”, he said.
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