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MY MENOPAUSAL STORY & JOURNEY

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…MENOPAUSE SHOWED ME SHEGE! 🤣🤣

Husbands can read too. It will help you to understand your wife better during those seasons of life and help you know what to do too.

Let me share with you my menopause experience and journey . what happened to me, why they happened and how to control them. As you read, you will understand the meaning of those pictures.

Let me also say ahead that not every menopausal woman experiences all that happened to me, some may not even have any of those symptoms except one or two. So it’s not compulsory you have all of them.

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Unnnn, Menopause showed me shege oooo 🤣🤣🤣. Ah, I thought I will die. Let me explain.

Firstly what is Menopause. Menopause is that natural part of biological ageing that occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55. Menopause is caused by the loss of ovarian follicular function and a decline in circulating blood oestrogen levels. The menopausal transition can be gradual, usually beginning with changes in the menstrual cycle. This is when at that of 40 upwards ,your menstrual cycle begins to fluctuate. It’s called premenopause.

Mine started very early. By my 40th birthday I was already in full menopause. And the first set of signs I started having was this terrible fatigue, this weakness from inside as if there was no strength in me. Me Adetutu that is normally full of energy. I can do 10 things together, who born them, you can’t stop me. But suddenly to get up in the morning became an issue. I will be having this heat from inside. I naturally sweat, but this one will be like I was put in oven o. During harmattan, everyone is shivering. But I must put on the fan overnight.
Below are all that I experienced within the first 5 to 6 years of menopause:

1. Severe HOT FLASHES: Heat from inside out.

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2. FAINTING SPELLS : I will be preaching in church and my eyes will go dark, people will not know why I’m holding the altar. They will think it’s anointing 😂😂😂.

3. Severe HEADACHE from morning till night: I had this headache everyday for 2 years.

4. INSOMNIA : I just wouldn’t be able to sleep.

5. SLEEP APNEA: I’ll just stop breathing while sleeping and so jerk up gasping for breath.

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6. LOSS OF APPETITE and inability to decide what to eat.

7. UNEXPLAINABLE WEIGHT GAIN, especially around the midriff. I wasn’t eating, yet my tummy was getting bigger.

8. FORGETTING THINGS.: in fact, I frustrated the children with this one, because I could even forget that I was holding the car keys 🤣🤣.

9. VERTIGO: I am lying down yet the whole room is spinning.

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10. SEVERE, ALMOST PARALYSING WEAKNESS and tiredness. To get up in the morning was a big issue. Me, Adetutu was getting to church late! Ah! It is well o.

11. SEVERE PAINS IN ALL MY JOINTS: knees, ankles, wrists, shoulders, neck, waste, hips. That picture of my two knees was the one I took at a time, when suddenly one of my knees swelled up becoming twice the size of the other, and I couldn’t leave the house for 4 days.

12. VAGINA DRYNESS: So I Couldn’t have sex without lubricant. In fact there was a time I couldn’t have sex at all. I just was not interested..

13. Intermittent MOODINESS and lethargy. Loss of interest in everything generally.

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14. My beautiful nails just started getting weak and brittle, they were crumbling and breaking 😭😭. But thank God, they are back now. That’s them in that picture. Full, strong and long again! 💃💃💃.

The first 6 years was traumatic for me. I can’t even explain how I was able to go through all that and still meet up with all my schedules and meetings and counselling and invitations. There were times, by the time I get home from my meetings and preaching engagement, I will be in so much pain, I wouldn’t be able to get out of the car. There were times my knees will just lock up all by themselves, I wouldn’t be able to bend them for minutes 🤣🤣. All I can say is that I am standing here today because Grace upheld me.

A lot of people except my family didn’t know what I was going through. And you can imagine how it would have affected them too. That’s why you must marry a good Man o who knows what he’s doing. And You must pray for good children too and train them well because of that season. You will need them:

Heritage is not just my Son, he’s an Angel sent from God to me.
He and His Dad were always around me and on my case. Guarding me from unnecessary stress. Doing many things I should have done for me. Giving me moral and spiritual support. The girls were often in school, so they kept calling, chatting, checking up on me. Calling their brother to plan how to reduce my stress.

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I can’t count the number of times that Heritage will come into my room , hold my hand and just pray for me. Same with His Dad too.
He sends unserious clients away without batting any eyelid 🤣🤣🤣.
His sisters were mostly at school, so he was the one around often with me and His Dad.
My husband First suspended sex for a while. It’s good to marry a man with sense o 🙈😂😂. Who doesn’t think with his scrotums. He helped me and gave me time to balance out.
I’m telling you, it was a season I won’t forget in a hurry.

Then the psychological trauma of not knowing on time what was going on. I first thought I have developed a terminal sickness. I thought I had a brain tumour or blood sickness. I wasn’t afraid of death, I knew I can’t die, but I wanted to know what was wrong with me!!! My husband kept telling me I was fine, it was age and hormonal changes, but I didn’t believe him😂.

It was when I called my elder sister in UK and told her that the devil wants to kill me that she now explained to me that it’s menopause. That was the first time I had peace. Because being a fellow woman, she has gone through most of the same symptoms. She was also the one who explained to me the possible reasons why my own was that severe:

Be careful of the following dangerous life style as a lady. I lived like that when I was younger and they complicated the menopause season for me:

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1. I don’t take water. I can eat without drinking water. I can go a whole day without water.

2. I lived a very stressed life. For a greater part of my 30s, I don’t sleep for more than 4 hours per day. I work myself to the bone always and never rested enough.

3. I hardly take fruits or vegetables.
All these bad habits that I thought were okay also contributed to the severity of my own symptoms. So my sister told me I had to develop a totally new life style and regiment if I want the symptoms to reduce and balance out. Then I also read up on it.

So, I’ll advise that you as a woman that you shouldn’t wait till you have reached menopause before you start doing the following. Once you get to your middle or late 30s, start doing them or increase your doing of them:

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LIFESTYLE FOR A MENOPAUSAL WOMAN:
1. Take More water. Plenty water, At least 3 litres daily. You can measure it through the day. But stay very hydrated.

2. Don’t be headstrong like me, get supplements and of these good supplements. Well woman, omega H3, etc

3. Take more vegetables and fruits: just make them a daily part of your diet. I just finished eating guavas now. Reduce your food portions and take less carbs too.

4. Get those good seeds: Sesame seeds , Flax seeds, Sunflower seeds, Chia seeds, etc. Add them to your water and pap etc. Cinnamon too if you don’t mind the taste. They help with the bloating, are good antioxidants, and hormonal balance too.

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5. Your 8 hours sleep daily must not be compromised again. Minimum of 7 hours. That’s the cause of the headache. From the moment I started deliberately sleeping for long. The headaches stopped.

6. Do light exercises like walking as often as you can. Some jogging, cardio exercises etc. To help with the joint pains and also keep your heart strong and increase blood circulation.

7. Avoid everything and situation that can rile you up and get you Angry. Learn to ignore troublesome people.

8. In case you have started having pains during or after sex. Then get artificial lubricant. After a while, you may not need it again.

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9. Reduce all types of sugars. Those soft drinks, juices etc. Reduce them or stop totally. Take green tea more or just water. If you will take soft drinks etc, let it be very seldomly.

10. Speak the word to your body like crazy. This one really helped me o. Ah, I started speaking the word of God to my body and commanding it to fall in line.

In the last two years, it’s been way better. I’m stronger, most of the symptoms have disappeared. I’m back to Bedmatics full time again 🤣🤣. The aches comes intermittently when I stress myself too much. But in all, I’m feeling more like myself again!

I wished someone had prepared me for it and told me many of those things before hand. I think it would have been easier for me. So I’m just using this post to share my experience and also to help other women out there who are either going through it or will still go through it.

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I’m sure Other women too who have different experiences and used different methods, the Doctors, dieticians etc who will read this will also contribute and tell us other things we can do to prepare for this season of life as a woman. Please contribute oooo. 😁❤️🌹.

I hope I’ve helped a bit.
Love always.
Adetutu osofowora (TUSKY)

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Opinion

CELEBRATING A PRODIGIOUS WORDSMITH: TUNDE OLUSUNLE @ SIXTY

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BY BOLAJI AFOLABI

Poring over countless title-ideas for this article, the above emerged from the blues. Further checks about the subject confirmed the title as fit and proper. Describing Tunde Olusunle as a “prodigious wordsmith” is no exaggeration. In every of his work, he comes across as one who has vocabulary virtuosity, and endowed with narrative mastery. He displays unimaginable linguistic dexterity which is  intertwined with rhetorical flair, and imbued with creative vision. He carves the right words, and descriptive styles to paint beautiful scenery of complex and cumbersome situations. He crafts, engages, and suspends readers till the last words are happily soaked in. So, the title is both deliberate and intentional.

Dr. Tunde Olusunle, an Adjunct Professor of Creative Writing at the University of Abuja; which was recently re-named Yakubu Gowon University, is a man of many parts. He is a celebrated journalist; author; poet; communicator; and public speaker. Thus, he fits into all the fields where intellect, elucidation, and erudition coalesce. As a Columnist and Editor, he rose to the top of Journalism. In Literature, aside from having degrees, he has many published (and yet to be published) poems. He has written, co-written, edited, and co-edited over a dozen books; earning the Fellowship of the Association of Nigerian Authors, (FANA). In the last few years in academia, he is making exceptional accomplishments as a scholar, teacher, and researcher nurturing and mentoring a new generation of creative writers.

Sometime in the ’90s; during the Late General Sani Abacha regime, the writer went to the Saka Tinubu, Victoria Island, Lagos office of an elder brother; Ade-Ralph Olamife. After late lunch  at the classy canteen within the precincts of the Nigeria Telecommunications Limited, (NITEL) offices, the host extended an invitation. He said, “I want you to join me later today to meet a friend coming from Ikeja.” About 7 pm, we (Olamife, two other friends, and the writer) drove into Bishop Oluwole Street in Victoria Island, Lagos. The building was the Kogi state Liaison Office at that time. Surprisingly,  the august friend, who came with another person was already seated. After the exchange of pleasantries, the subject of this article was introduced by Olamife. Olusunle, who came with Alhaji Hakeem Bello; later Media Adviser to Babatunde Raji Fashola, (SAN), interacted freely with everyone. During the over two hours sit-out, Olusunle came across as a witty, lively, intelligent, and brilliant personality.

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After this first meeting, the writer; through Olamife had subsequent interactions with Olusunle in Ikeja, Maryland, Ikoyi, and Victoria Island areas of Lagos. On every occasion, he exudes confidence and accessibility just as his humble and humane attributes come alive. After over a year of gap, largely due to the analogue communication state, and his relocation out of Lagos, Olamife broke the cheering news of Olusunle’s appointment as the Chief Press Secretary to the Kogi state Military Administrator; Col. Paul Omeruo. A few months later, the writer accompanied (as usual) Olamife; to visit Omeruo in Lokoja. By the way, both Olusunle and Olamife are mutual friends to the Administrator, fondly referred to as PUNO; initials of his names. During the two-week visit, Olusunle was the perfect host; he made every evening eventful and memorable. From discussions, many civil servants spoke glowingly about him. In and around the Lugard House; Administrator’s residence and office, as well as Ministries, Departments, and Agencies, (MDAs), his interpersonal relationships were eulogized. Succinctly, he could be described as a people’s man.

With the birth of democracy in May 1999, and the inauguration of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo as the President and Commander in Chief of Nigeria, the writer partially relocated to Abuja, hoping to explore opportunities in the new government. Watching the Nigerian Television Authority’s flagship news, the advert inviting people to the official launch of the new administration’s “Campaign for National Rebirth” sounded interesting. The writer made his way to the purposely-built Eagle Square venue of the event. As the programme progressed, the presence and importance of Olusunle was very evident. Events over, the writer swiftly moved from the stands down the platform to offer salutations to him. Pushed, shoved aside by over-zealous security operatives, it was a herculean task. At the point of giving up, an incident happened which diverted the attention of almost everyone. Leveraging on this, the writer made his way to the dais. Standing before Olusunle, he called the writer’s name, hugged, and exchanged pleasantries. Quickly, he said, “I’ll be out of Abuja for one week, meet me at Sheraton Hotels next week please.”

The writer’s visit to Sheraton Hotels marked the beginning of a relationship that has grown in leaps and bounds. Either at the Hotel’s Papillon Restaurant or the Poolside Bar, and Nicon Noga (now Transcorp) Hilton Hotel, the compassionate, empathetic, and accommodating attributes of Olusunle always come to the fore. They were unmistakable and unequivocal. During one of the numerous visits, he requested for the writer’s curriculum vitae; without saying what he wanted to do with it? It was discovered, early that he loves working behind the scenes. Beneficiaries of his advocacy, and benevolence only get to know when “food don done for eating.” One recalls on a visit to his 7th floor, Sheraton Hotels “temporary official residence” he beckoned on the writer to accompany him to somewhere. In a few minutes, we were in one of the suites at the Hilton Hotel, only to see Chief Onyema Ugochukwu, emeritus journalist, and public administrator walked in. With shock, suspense, and excitement written on one’s face, Olusunle introduced the writer saying, “Oga, this is one of our younger but silent supporters.”

A few months later, the import of that visit came to light. Through the persistent advocacy, and resilient prodding of Ugochukwu and Olusunle, President Obasanjo gave approval for major recruitments to strengthen the rebirth campaign, and public affairs management of the new government. So, the writer and other people benefitted from a forward-thinking proposal that was primarily targeted at media professionals who were part of the Obasanjo presidential campaign organization. Pastor Tumo Ojelabi, a retired Federal Director who was one of the beneficiaries declared that, “Oga, is a fastidious personality, a determined helper who can be positively stubborn, and dogged when pursuing a course that he has strong conviction about.” Continuing, Ojelabi, who was the official Photographer to Obasanjo during the presidential campaign said, “but for his resilience, courage, and never-quiver spirit; and Oga Ugochukwu, many of us who toiled during the campaigns would have been left dry.” For Mr. Taiwo Akinyemi, who was Obasanjo’s campaign Official Videographer, “Olusunle is a fighter; a dynamic fighter for other people. When he realized that politicians who did not contribute much to Baba’s electoral success were getting their loyalists into the new government, he fought relentlessly for us all. God used him to get me employed in the federal civil service, I remain eternally grateful.”

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Olusunle is a pan-Nigerian, totally detribalized, and not given to ethnicity, religious segregation and similar stereotype. Described by close friends as diligent, dedicated, and devoted to friendship, Olusunle remains a restless and tireless quester for knowledge and new challenges. Given his multi-dimensional, and multi-tasking skills and proficiencies, he can excel in whatever profession, assignment, and position. Energized by his voracious search for new ideas, he is almost, always thinking out of the box. Very ingenious, creative, and imaginative, one recalls few initiatives that came from his fertile mind during the Obasanjo presidency. Persistent encouraging words about Nigeria’s sports which led to the inclusion of the “sports brief” to his schedules. Advocacy for the hosting of the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting, (CHOGM) at any of the nation’s resorts; which informed him leading a team of journalists, tourism experts, and bureaucrats to the Yankari Games Reserves in Bauchi. What about the National Media Tour, though initiated by him but hijacked by a few top government officials who at the end muddled the entire programme?

Corroborating, Mr. Vincent Oyefeso, a retired Federal Director, and another beneficiary of the Obasanjo appointments approval, said, “he is an illustrious Nigerian and a patriot per excellence, who bestrides many walks of life as an intellectual collossus, a humanist of no mean hue, and an advocate of the finest social ethos. At the realms of public communications, the academia, and public service, he exudes the best practices worthy of emulation by right-thinking compatriots.” For Mr. Ukadike Uwabor, a media communications consultant, “since I’ve known him, he has remained consistent with the core values of excellence, versatility, and intellect. He relates perfectly with different people no matter the age, religion, tribe, or social status. Little wonder his friends cut across different strata of the society. That the people of Umukabia autonomous community in Abia state conferred on him a chieftaincy title; which is outside his geographical, ethnic, and linguistic zone speaks volumes about his personality.” Olusunle by the way, has few other titles bestowed on him in different parts of the country.

Agreed, no human being is perfect but the writer has personal experiences about Olusunle that remains nostalgic. Indeed, the over two decades relationships have grown from one stage to the other. From boss to teacher, mentor, and motivator. He has played (and continues to play) different roles in one’s professional development, and career progression. Perhaps, he may not realize this; while working with him, Olusunle doesn’t attend meetings alone. The writer, Late Alhaji Wasiu Anjous, and (on few occasions) Akinyemi accompanied him to any meeting, particularly with MDAs. Another striking feature was that he introduced you as a “colleague.” With that, one’s stock, respect, and recognition increases. One of the fall-out of such remarkable style happened at the 2004 Olympics Games in  Greece, when Late Mr. Solomon Matankari, Nigeria’s Chef de Mission, and Sports Ministry’s Permanent Secretary insisted on the participation of Anjous and the writer in  high-level meetings.

Not persuaded by the hierarchical structure of the civil service, Olusunle places premium on availability, delivery, and consistency. Just a few months after being deployed to his office, the writer had a baptism of fire. Barely 48 hours after one of the regular presidential chats, Olusunle passed the recorded tape, and declared, “do transcribe and deliver in three days.” Sensing shock, and surprise, he encouraged, “you can do it, go at your pace.” On another occasion, a few days after commending the writer on a piece, “From Saw Dust To The Skies,” he said, “write a speech for Dr. Mrs. Kema Chikwe, the Aviation Minister, for a programme this Saturday to be held in Garki, Abuja.” Though tough but exciting, it marked my entry into the exclusive class of speech writers; till this moment. Sometime in 2023; after long hiatus from opinion writing, due to a new assignment at the National Assembly, the writer did a piece. Impressed, Olusunle called immediately, “BJ, I’ve just read your brilliant article. I encourage you to make this more regular, please. I’m available to offer any support where and when necessary.” Truly, he has kept faith to his promise in the over thirty articles written between December 2023 and now.

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This is the man we are celebrating today, and always. Olusunle is an extremely organized personality, whose writings and interventions are laced with irrefutable data, educative instances, and inspiring suggestions. When occasions demands, you can’t help but applaud his depth of knowledge, information reservoir, deep vistas, and un-ending capacity. Oyefeso prays that, “the Lord grants him peace as he steps into the sixth floor. The Father of Lights will continually uphold and uplift him from Glory to Glory in Jesus Name.” Mr. Jacob Zwings, aide to Director-General, National Orientation Agency added that, “Oga Tunde, in his own way has impacted positively on the lives of people. On the occasion of his Diamond jubilee, I pray that God will perfect everything that concerns him and his family.” Akinyemi declared that, “just as he has been a blessing to other people’s children, God will bless him, his wife, and children.” Uwabor believes that, “Enyi Oha has become a reference point to many people. The good Lord will grant him more years in good health as he age gracefully with abundance of all-round blessings.” Ojelabi affirmed that, “Olusunle is who he is today; an accomplished man who stands tall among his peers because of his commitment towards extending helping hands to those who needs it.”

* BOLAJI AFOLABI, a Development Communications specialist was with the Office of Public Affairs, The Presidency, Abuja.

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Opinion

PROFESSOR HUMPHREY NWOSU: THE UNSUNG HERO OF TRUE NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY

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Written by Dr. Nwambu Gabriel,Director General, Centre for Credible Leadership and Citizens Awareness

Introduction

The journey to democratic governance in Nigeria has been fraught with challenges, conflicts, and untold sacrifices. Among the gallant figures who stood resilient in the face of adversity was Professor Humphrey Nwosu. As we mourn the loss of a remarkable leader and an indomitable champion of democracy, we reflect on his contributions and unwavering commitment to the electoral process, which laid a foundational path for Nigeria’s democratic practice.

A Visionary Electoral Leader

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Professor Nwosu’s tenure as Chairman of Nigeria’s National Electoral Commission (NEC) from 1989 to 1993 marked a pivotal era in the nation’s electoral history. Unlike many of his contemporaries, Nwosu approached his responsibilities with an unwavering resolve to uphold the sanctity of the electoral process. He successfully organized several elections, including Local Government Chairmanship, Governorship, and State and National Assembly elections, which were lauded for their transparency and fairness. His most significant achievement came with the conduct of the June 12, 1993, presidential elections, widely regarded as one of the freest and fairest elections in Nigeria’s history.

Courageous Stand Against Adversity

In an environment characterized by military interference and political manipulation, Nwosu exemplified courage. He boldly overturned a court order issued on June 10, 1993, that sought to halt the presidential elections. Despite facing intense pressure from the military establishment led by Ibrahim Babangida (IBB), he remained resolute, emphasizing his commitment to ensuring that the elections were conducted as planned. His insistence on completing his mandate, even when his commission was dissolved midway through the electoral process, is a testament to his integrity and dedication.

His unyielding stance culminated in the announcement of results from 29 out of 30 states in the June 12 elections. Although General Ibrahim Babangida annulled the elections before Nwosu could declare the final results, his steadfastness demonstrated his belief in the democratic process and the necessity of honoring the voice of the Nigerian electorate.

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Championing Democracy Through Documentation

Professor Nwosu did not allow the annulment of the June 12 elections to silence his voice. In his book, *Laying the Foundation of Nigeria’s Democracy: My Account of June 12, 1993 Presidential Election and Its Annulment*, he chronicled the events leading to the election and its aftermath. By publishing the results of the June 12 elections, he presented irrefutable evidence of MKO Abiola’s victory, reinforcing the notion that the people’s will should prevail over political machinations. This documentation serves as a historical account of a significant moment in Nigeria’s struggle for democracy and a rallying cry for future generations.

Legacy of Integrity

As we reflect on Professor Nwosu’s life and contributions, it is essential to recognize his legacy of integrity, bravery, and unwavering commitment to democratic principles. He stood as a beacon of hope during a tumultuous period in Nigerian history, proving that one individual’s resolute stand could indeed lead to monumental change. His story serves as an inspiration to current and future leaders to prioritize the will of the people over personal or political gain.

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Conclusion

The passing of Professor Humphrey Nwosu is not just a loss to his family and friends but to a nation that desperately needs champions of democracy. His actions during the critical moments of June 12, 1993, solidified his place in history as a true man of democracy. As we commemorate his life, we are reminded that democracy thrives through the courage and integrity of individuals like Professor Nwosu—those who are willing to stand firm against oppression and ensure that the voice of the people is heard.

May his soul rest in peace, and may his legacy continue to inspire generations to uphold the values of democracy, transparency, and justice in Nigeria.

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Opinion

Hon. (Dr.) Saheed Mosadoluwa: A Beacon of Visionary Leadership

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In an era where effective leadership is more crucial than ever, Hon. (Dr.) Saheed Mosadoluwa stands out as a beacon of visionary leadership. His approach transcends traditional governance, embodying a blend of innovation, empathy, and strategic foresight that inspires those around him and fosters community growth.

Pioneering Change Through Vision

Dr. Mosadoluwa’s leadership is characterized by a clear, forward-thinking vision. His ability to foresee challenges and opportunities allows him to craft policies that not only address current issues but also lay the groundwork for a prosperous future. He understands that visionary leadership is not just about having a great idea; it is about mobilizing resources, people, and initiatives to turn ideas into reality.

Empathy and Inclusivity at the Core

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At the heart of his leadership philosophy is a deep sense of empathy. Dr. Mosadoluwa believes that true leadership involves listening to the voices of the people and prioritizing their needs. He fosters an inclusive environment where diverse perspectives are valued, ensuring that every stakeholder feels heard and respected. This commitment to inclusivity not only strengthens community ties but also enhances the effectiveness of governance.

Innovative Solutions for Sustainable Development

Dr. Mosadoluwa recognizes the complexities of today’s challenges and approaches them with innovative, sustainable solutions. He champions initiatives that leverage technology, education, and sustainable practices to drive development. His focus on smart, sustainable urban planning and community-driven projects demonstrates his commitment to fostering resilient communities that can thrive in the face of adversity.

Empowering Future Leaders

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As a visionary leader, Dr. Mosadoluwa is dedicated to empowerment. He actively mentors the next generation of leaders, believing that true leadership involves creating opportunities for others to grow. Through workshops, seminars, and community engagement initiatives, he inspires young minds to develop their leadership potential and become active participants in shaping their futures.

Commitment to Transparency and Accountability

Honesty and integrity are cornerstones of Dr. Mosadoluwa’s leadership. He believes that transparent governance builds trust within the community. By promoting open communication and accountability, he sets a standard for ethical leadership, ensuring that decisions are made in the best interest of the community.

Conclusion

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Hon. (Dr.) Saheed Mosadoluwa is more than just a leader—he is a visionary. Through his innovative strategies, empathetic approach, and commitment to inclusivity, he is redefining the true definition of what Leadership. As he continues to inspire and enact positive change, Dr. Mosadoluwa remains dedicated to building a better future for all, proving that with visionary leadership, anything is possible.

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