By Francesca Hangeior
Understanding the subtle signs of attraction can sometimes feel like decoding a complex puzzle.
Especially when someone is really into you but also trying to play it cool. It’s a delicate balance between hiding feelings and dropping hints.
This is about deciphering those small gestures, those slight changes in behavior that may indicate a deeper attraction.
Because, let’s face it, when someone is trying to keep their feelings under wraps, they’re not going to make it obvious.
Let’s dive into the 10 signs that might just reveal that someone is deeply attracted to you but trying their best to play it cool.
1) They find reasons to be around you
We all naturally gravitate towards people we are attracted to. It’s an instinctive behavior that’s hard to hide, even when we’re trying to play it cool.
If someone is always finding a reason to be around you, whether it’s by joining the same clubs as you, popping up at your favorite hangout spots or always seeming to be in the same area as you at social gatherings, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you.
They might try to downplay their interest by making it seem like their presence is just a coincidence. But if it happens regularly, it’s likely not just chance.
Actions speak louder than words. So even if they’re not verbally expressing their feelings, their actions could be telling a different story. Keep an eye out for repeated ‘coincidences’. It might just be a subtle sign of their deeper attraction towards you.
2) Their body language tells a story
Body language is the unsung hero of communication. It reveals what we might be trying to hide with our words. In my own experience, I once found myself drawn to a friend who was always trying to play it cool.
One thing that stood out was her body language. Whenever we were together, she’d unconsciously mirror my actions. If I crossed my arms, she’d do the same. If I leaned in during a conversation, she’d lean in too.
She’d also frequently make eye contact, and whenever our eyes met, she’d quickly look away with a shy smile.
Even though she was trying to play it cool and not openly admit her feelings, these subtle shifts in her body language were a clear giveaway of her attraction.
If someone is mirroring your body language, maintaining prolonged eye contact or showing other non-verbal signs of interest – they might just be deeply attracted to you but trying to mask it.
3) They remember small details about you
Our brains are programmed to remember things that are important to us. So if someone remembers small, seemingly insignificant details about you, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you.
For instance, they might remember your favorite book that you mentioned in passing or recall a story you told them weeks ago. They might even bring up a minor detail from a previous conversation that you’d forgotten about.
This goes beyond just being a good listener. It shows that they’re paying extra attention to you and value what you say.
In fact, the phenomenon of ‘selective memory’ in attraction is backed by science. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people are more likely to remember details about others they find attractive.
When someone recalls a random detail about you, it might be more than just a good memory at play. It could be a subtle sign of their deeper attraction to you.
4) They initiate contact but also pull back
This is a classic sign of someone trying to play it cool while being attracted to you. They’ll reach out, initiate conversations or plans, but then also pull back to not seem too eager or invested.
You might find them texting you first, asking about your day, or suggesting you both check out the new coffee shop downtown. But then, they might also go quiet for a while, not responding promptly to your messages or turning down an invite from you.
It can seem confusing, but it’s their way of trying to maintain balance. They want to show interest without coming off as desperate or overly invested.
If someone in your life is blowing hot and cold in their interactions with you, it might not be inconsistency. It could be them trying to manage their attraction and play it cool.
5) They get a little nervous around you
Believe it or not, a little bit of nervousness can be a good sign. It indicates that someone cares about the impression they’re making on you.
If they stumble over their words, get flustered easily, or blush when they’re around you, it could mean that they’re trying to impress you.
While they might try to hide these signs of nervousness, it’s often something that’s hard to control. It’s the body’s natural response to being around someone they’re attracted to.
When you notice someone getting a tad bit nervous around you, don’t write them off. It could be a sign that they’re deeply attracted to you but are trying to play it cool.
6) They show genuine interest in your life
When someone is deeply attracted to you, they tend to show a genuine interest in your life. They want to know about your dreams, your passions, and even your mundane day-to-day activities.
They’ll ask about your plans for the weekend, how your day was, or what you think about a particular topic. Their questions won’t just be surface-level small talk, but will delve deeper into who you are as a person.
This is because when we’re attracted to someone, we want to understand them better. We want to connect with them on a deeper level.
If someone is making an effort to truly get to know you, it’s not just casual curiosity. It could be a sign of their deeper attraction towards you, even if they’re trying their best to play it cool.
7) They drop subtle compliments
Compliments are a great way to express admiration, but when someone is trying to play it cool, they might not shower you with praises outright. Instead, they may drop subtle compliments.
I remember a time when I was attracted to someone but didn’t want to make it too obvious. Instead of lavishing them with compliments, I’d slip in casual comments about how their shirt really brought out their eyes, or how their laughter was contagious.
It was my way of showing my attraction without making it too apparent. So if someone is dropping subtle compliments your way, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you but trying to keep it low-key.
8) They tease you a bit
While it might seem like a throwback to schoolyard crushes, teasing can actually be a sign of attraction in adults too. This isn’t about mean-spirited jabs, but light-hearted, playful teasing.
If someone is teasing you in a friendly manner, it could be their way of showing affection while keeping things casual. It’s their way of building a bond without making things overly serious or obvious.
It might just be a sign they’re attracted to you but are trying to keep it cool.
9) They’re always there when you need them
Being attracted to someone often means caring about their well-being. If someone is always ready to lend a hand when you’re in need, it could be a sign of their deeper feelings for you.
Whether it’s offering to help you move, listening when you’ve had a bad day, or even bringing you soup when you’re sick, these acts of kindness show that they genuinely care about you.
Even if they try to shrug it off as “just being a good friend,” their consistent willingness to be there for you could indicate that their feelings run deeper than they’re letting on. It’s their way of showing affection without making their attraction too obvious.
10) They show respect for your boundaries
Attraction isn’t just about feelings, it’s also about respect. If someone is deeply attracted to you but trying to play it cool, they’ll respect your boundaries.
They won’t push you to do things you’re not comfortable with or invade your personal space. They’ll understand your need for time and space, and won’t rush things.
This shows not just their attraction but also their consideration for your feelings. Respect is a key element in any relationship, and if they’re showing it now, it’s a strong sign of their deep attraction to you.
Final thoughts: The dance of attraction.
The dance of attraction can often be a subtle and nuanced one, especially when someone is trying to play it cool. It’s a delicate balance between veiling feelings and revealing them through tiny, almost imperceptible signs.
Yet, beneath the surface of casual conversations and friendly interactions, these signs can hold the key to understanding someone’s deeper feelings for you.
From remembering little details about you to teasing you light-heartedly, these signs are like pieces of a puzzle that, when put together, paint a picture of attraction.
Attraction isn’t just about grand gestures and declarations of love. Often, it’s in the small things that people do when they think nobody’s noticing.