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10 signs someone is deeply attracted to you but trying to play it cool
By Francesca Hangeior
Understanding the subtle signs of attraction can sometimes feel like decoding a complex puzzle.
Especially when someone is really into you but also trying to play it cool. It’s a delicate balance between hiding feelings and dropping hints.
This is about deciphering those small gestures, those slight changes in behavior that may indicate a deeper attraction.
Because, let’s face it, when someone is trying to keep their feelings under wraps, they’re not going to make it obvious.
Let’s dive into the 10 signs that might just reveal that someone is deeply attracted to you but trying their best to play it cool.
1) They find reasons to be around you
We all naturally gravitate towards people we are attracted to. It’s an instinctive behavior that’s hard to hide, even when we’re trying to play it cool.
If someone is always finding a reason to be around you, whether it’s by joining the same clubs as you, popping up at your favorite hangout spots or always seeming to be in the same area as you at social gatherings, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you.
They might try to downplay their interest by making it seem like their presence is just a coincidence. But if it happens regularly, it’s likely not just chance.
Actions speak louder than words. So even if they’re not verbally expressing their feelings, their actions could be telling a different story. Keep an eye out for repeated ‘coincidences’. It might just be a subtle sign of their deeper attraction towards you.
2) Their body language tells a story
Body language is the unsung hero of communication. It reveals what we might be trying to hide with our words. In my own experience, I once found myself drawn to a friend who was always trying to play it cool.
One thing that stood out was her body language. Whenever we were together, she’d unconsciously mirror my actions. If I crossed my arms, she’d do the same. If I leaned in during a conversation, she’d lean in too.
She’d also frequently make eye contact, and whenever our eyes met, she’d quickly look away with a shy smile.
Even though she was trying to play it cool and not openly admit her feelings, these subtle shifts in her body language were a clear giveaway of her attraction.
If someone is mirroring your body language, maintaining prolonged eye contact or showing other non-verbal signs of interest – they might just be deeply attracted to you but trying to mask it.
3) They remember small details about you
Our brains are programmed to remember things that are important to us. So if someone remembers small, seemingly insignificant details about you, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you.
For instance, they might remember your favorite book that you mentioned in passing or recall a story you told them weeks ago. They might even bring up a minor detail from a previous conversation that you’d forgotten about.
This goes beyond just being a good listener. It shows that they’re paying extra attention to you and value what you say.
In fact, the phenomenon of ‘selective memory’ in attraction is backed by science. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people are more likely to remember details about others they find attractive.
When someone recalls a random detail about you, it might be more than just a good memory at play. It could be a subtle sign of their deeper attraction to you.
4) They initiate contact but also pull back
This is a classic sign of someone trying to play it cool while being attracted to you. They’ll reach out, initiate conversations or plans, but then also pull back to not seem too eager or invested.
You might find them texting you first, asking about your day, or suggesting you both check out the new coffee shop downtown. But then, they might also go quiet for a while, not responding promptly to your messages or turning down an invite from you.
It can seem confusing, but it’s their way of trying to maintain balance. They want to show interest without coming off as desperate or overly invested.
If someone in your life is blowing hot and cold in their interactions with you, it might not be inconsistency. It could be them trying to manage their attraction and play it cool.
5) They get a little nervous around you
Believe it or not, a little bit of nervousness can be a good sign. It indicates that someone cares about the impression they’re making on you.
If they stumble over their words, get flustered easily, or blush when they’re around you, it could mean that they’re trying to impress you.
While they might try to hide these signs of nervousness, it’s often something that’s hard to control. It’s the body’s natural response to being around someone they’re attracted to.
When you notice someone getting a tad bit nervous around you, don’t write them off. It could be a sign that they’re deeply attracted to you but are trying to play it cool.
6) They show genuine interest in your life
When someone is deeply attracted to you, they tend to show a genuine interest in your life. They want to know about your dreams, your passions, and even your mundane day-to-day activities.
They’ll ask about your plans for the weekend, how your day was, or what you think about a particular topic. Their questions won’t just be surface-level small talk, but will delve deeper into who you are as a person.
This is because when we’re attracted to someone, we want to understand them better. We want to connect with them on a deeper level.
If someone is making an effort to truly get to know you, it’s not just casual curiosity. It could be a sign of their deeper attraction towards you, even if they’re trying their best to play it cool.
7) They drop subtle compliments
Compliments are a great way to express admiration, but when someone is trying to play it cool, they might not shower you with praises outright. Instead, they may drop subtle compliments.
I remember a time when I was attracted to someone but didn’t want to make it too obvious. Instead of lavishing them with compliments, I’d slip in casual comments about how their shirt really brought out their eyes, or how their laughter was contagious.
It was my way of showing my attraction without making it too apparent. So if someone is dropping subtle compliments your way, it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you but trying to keep it low-key.
8) They tease you a bit
While it might seem like a throwback to schoolyard crushes, teasing can actually be a sign of attraction in adults too. This isn’t about mean-spirited jabs, but light-hearted, playful teasing.
If someone is teasing you in a friendly manner, it could be their way of showing affection while keeping things casual. It’s their way of building a bond without making things overly serious or obvious.
It might just be a sign they’re attracted to you but are trying to keep it cool.
9) They’re always there when you need them
Being attracted to someone often means caring about their well-being. If someone is always ready to lend a hand when you’re in need, it could be a sign of their deeper feelings for you.
Whether it’s offering to help you move, listening when you’ve had a bad day, or even bringing you soup when you’re sick, these acts of kindness show that they genuinely care about you.
Even if they try to shrug it off as “just being a good friend,” their consistent willingness to be there for you could indicate that their feelings run deeper than they’re letting on. It’s their way of showing affection without making their attraction too obvious.
10) They show respect for your boundaries
Attraction isn’t just about feelings, it’s also about respect. If someone is deeply attracted to you but trying to play it cool, they’ll respect your boundaries.
They won’t push you to do things you’re not comfortable with or invade your personal space. They’ll understand your need for time and space, and won’t rush things.
This shows not just their attraction but also their consideration for your feelings. Respect is a key element in any relationship, and if they’re showing it now, it’s a strong sign of their deep attraction to you.
Final thoughts: The dance of attraction.
The dance of attraction can often be a subtle and nuanced one, especially when someone is trying to play it cool. It’s a delicate balance between veiling feelings and revealing them through tiny, almost imperceptible signs.
Yet, beneath the surface of casual conversations and friendly interactions, these signs can hold the key to understanding someone’s deeper feelings for you.
From remembering little details about you to teasing you light-heartedly, these signs are like pieces of a puzzle that, when put together, paint a picture of attraction.
Attraction isn’t just about grand gestures and declarations of love. Often, it’s in the small things that people do when they think nobody’s noticing.
News
CBN Governor Affirms 1,000 Staff Exited Voluntarily Without Pressure
News
Our investigators taking bribe – EFCC Chairman admits
The Chairman, Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, Mr Ola Olukoyede, has said some of the investigators are in the habit of demanding bribes from crime suspects, thus eroding the integrity of the agency.
Olukoyode warned the erring anti-graft agency’s investigators that they would be dealt with if they failed to retrace their steps with the policy’s guidelines, which are erected on responsibility, accountability, and transparency.
The EFCC boss made this known to the Commission’s members of staff during his New Year address at the Headquarters in Abuja.
President Bola Tinubu appointed Olukoyede as the EFCC helmsman in October 2023, following the suspension of Abdulrasheed Bawa in July, over suspected infractions while in office.
He told the agency staff that the public views about their operations are not friendly, saying, “At this point, I need to strongly reiterate the issue of discipline, integrity and sense of responsibility in the way we do our work. Public opinions about the conduct of some of our investigators are adverse. The craze and quest for gratification, bribes and other compromises by some of our investigators are becoming too embarrassing and this must not continue.
“Let me sound a note of warning in this regard. I will not hesitate to wield the big stick against any form of infraction by any staff of the Commission. The Department of Internal Affairs has been directed to be more ardent in its work and monitor every staff in all their engagements. The image of the Commission is too important to be placed on the line by any corrupt officer.”
Earlier in his address, the anti-graft agency’s boss urged the staff to be up and doing, as he added that the development of the country depends on the competence of the Commission in dealing with corruption.
Olukoyede said, “As you would recall, our new policy drive is premised on a three-pronged agenda and blueprint. The first plank of the agenda is properly focusing on the mandate of the EFCC. All over the world, the major objective of the war against corruption and financial crimes is to drive economic development and create wealth and job opportunities for the populace. We need to come to these realities and operate by them. Our nation is in dire straits. We need to continue to do everything possible to stimulate the revenue profile of Nigeria.
“There is no agency of government as crucial to the nation’s quest for growth and development as the EFCC. We have all it takes to bring up the profile and developmental index of our nation. I urge all of you to be steadfast and committed to this clarion.”
He urged the staff to adhere to the rule of law, and strife to promote the image of the agency and protect the reputation of the country, in order to attract foreign investors, with the direct aim of boosting the economy of Nigeria.
“The second plank of our policy direction is putting modalities in place for running the administration and governance of the nation at various levels in a most responsible, accountable and transparent manner as well as building and promoting the international image and reputation of Nigeria in the eye of the world as a country that is worthy of attracting foreign direct investments. To achieve all these, preventive mechanisms against corruption, adherence to the rule of law and engagement of diverse publics in the nation in the fight, are imperative,” he stated.
“I equally talk about the overarching need for a transactional credit system as a potent means of keeping corruption at bay. We need to encourage this and motivate Nigerians in this area. I want to particularly harp on the preventive modality which is the centerpiece of our new engagement. We are already building strength in this area through the restructuring of the layers of the Commission. I want every staff to be in tune with the new arrangement.”
Speaking about the arrest and bail guidelines, the EFCC boss said, “Let me also talk about the review of the arrest and bail guidelines which I expect everyone to be familiar with by now. The review is informed by the need for us to conform with international best practices in law enforcement.
“We are a civilised anti-graft agency. Arrest and bail would henceforth be done in line with the rule of law. Our investigators should particularly take note of this. It is important for us to understand the dynamics of the world in the area of law enforcement. Change is the most permanent fact of life. We should not be seen to be resisting changes in our work.
“We are mindful of the increasing need for the welfare of staff and steps are being taken in this regard. I may not talk about specifics. However, the new year promises to bring smiles on the faces of staff across all the Commands. We will continue to do our best to put all of you at your best. However, to whom much is given, much is expected.
“Lastly, I have always said that we are all privileged to be staff of the EFCC. There is this Latin phrase that says, noblesse oblige, meaning, nobility demands responsibility. This is the crux of the matter. We should dignify the privilege of being EFCC staff with proportionate responsibility. It is both a duty and an obligation. I wish you all the best in the New Year.”
The Legal Attache of the United States’ Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Jack Smith, hailed the appointment of Olukoyede as the EFCC boss, when he paid him a courtesy visit, in November last year, praising him that “the rebranding and other positive initiatives are good.”
EFCC is currently investigating the alleged N37.1 billion fraud under the former Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development, Saddiya Umar Faruq.
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Read reaction of Nigerians to N30m fees in Lagos school
By Kayode Sanni-Arewa
Charterhouse, a British independent school located in the Lekki area of Lagos State, has once again sparked controversy over its fees, drawing criticism from Nigerians on social media.
According to its website, the Charterhouse Family of Schools has been a leading name in British education for over 400 years. The Lagos campus, the first African branch of Charterhouse UK, admitted its first set of students in September 2024, catering to Year 1 through Year 6 pupils.
The school previously faced criticism in April 2024 for its tuition fees, which were reportedly as high as N42 million per year, alongside a N2 million non-refundable registration fee. This sparked widespread backlash, with many questioning the affordability of the institution for the average Nigerian family.
The debate resurfaced on Thursday following a video shared on X.com by user #itzbasito, captioned, “This is what the inside of the most expensive school in Lagos looks like. It costs N42 million per year.”
The video, attributed to Charterhouse, however, claimed that tuition and accommodation cost less than N30 million. The post has since garnered over 9,200 interactions on X.com, with many Nigerians criticising the costs, stating that even N30 million is excessively high.
One user, #TheWaleOrire, tweeted on Friday, “If the government can’t regulate school fees in primary and secondary schools, how can we achieve standardised universal basic education? There’s absolutely no reason why any secondary school in Nigeria should be charging N42 million per year.”
He added, “This only widens the gap between the lower, middle, and upper classes, turning education into a luxury for the rich instead of a right for every child. We need urgent reforms to bridge this inequality.”
Other users echoed similar sentiments, arguing that the fees primarily catered to the wealthy elite.
#OAAdeniji wrote, “There is no way anyone in Nigeria, earning in Naira, will be paying N42 million per year for a secondary school student, no matter what they are being taught. This is more than outrageous.”
Another user, #toofighting, remarked, “You’d find that the students are mostly children of expatriates, and those fees are paid by the companies their parents work for. Most Nigerian parents cannot pay that sum out of pocket.”
Similarly, #rusticfunmi commented, “N42 million per annum just so some people can feel superior that their children will be taught by whites… sorry, ‘expatriates.’”
In contrast, some users defended the school, arguing that it caters to a specific segment of society.
#Arsenicscot tweeted, “They don’t have the majority as their market target. All these una complain na for una pocket. When admission commences, the school will be filled; it won’t be scanty. The owners of the school know the segment of the population they are targeting. They won’t beg for students.”
Another user, #Treazyblaq, added, “If they can afford it, why not? These schools offer more than just education; they’re valuable for networking and building connections that can benefit the future. It’s an investment, not just in education but in opportunities and overall growth.”
The video also detailed the school’s boarding arrangements, stating that students would share rooms with three others, each having their own bed and private space. This sparked additional criticism, with some questioning the value provided.
#SandraAdaeze4 commented, “N30 million a year only to share a room with four other students.” Similarly, #citiii added, “For that amount, there is no reason why each student shouldn’t have their own room or, at worst, two per room.”
Charterhouse’s website details its tiered fee structure for founding students, with tuition ranging from N16.1 million for Years 1–2 to N24 million for Year 9. Weekly boarding costs an additional N5 million, while full boarding is N7 million per year.
PUNCH reported in August 2024 that the Founding Head and Director of Education at Charterhouse, John Todd, clarified misinformation regarding the school’s fees.
He said, “In April, there was an online reaction to our school fees, which sparked a lot of discussion, with some people reacting to the figure of N42m. I want to set the record straight: our fees are currently N26m, not N42m. We’ve never charged N42m.”
The Punch
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